Reply To: I'm still in denial



I am reading these posts and am just amazed at the number of good, intelligent women who this happens to. Jaybird, just like you, my partner of 7 years just got married this December after he had set up a completely new life behind my back – all within less than 11 months he is gone. Like these post, I had given him my all and my complete love. I am an intelligent, professionally successful woman and the hardest thing for me to understand is why this can happen, how people can be like this… and how I let it happen to me. Always sensing it, yet never letting myself quite believe it…until I was completely deceived.

After getting some wonderful advice on this site, I engaged the help of a therapist, who told me that in all likelihood this man will enter my life again at some point, come knocking on my door – when things go (undoubtedly) wrong in this marriage (he won’t change his spots). And then your story comes in…someone who this has happened to.

I hope you have the strength to reject him. I completely understand though – we truly loved these men (I know I did) – and never quite understood why it happened, because we are unable to judge people by a standard other than our own. We have never been able to grasp how they were able to be such deceiving sociopaths. We have to learn to understand that these men do not live by our standards and simply use us.

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