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This is horrific! I’m sorry to see that you are another member of this club. Thank you for sharing your story. It will help other people. I always learn from what other people have been through. I am almost 3 months out from my relationship with my narcissistic sociopathic ex boyfriend. Healing takes time. Sometimes it’s one moment at a time. And, you have to go through the grief and anger to get to see real healing start. I had days of crying. Now, I’m going through an anger stage. And as it has been said, internally once you let out the negativity, it leaves room for better things to come in. I see a therapist every week who is working with me through my grief and anger. I think it’s really helping me. I recommend therapy. Also, this website is filled with resources: articles, stories, videos and recommended books and so on. I’ve put this website to full use and have found a lot of help here. I even spoke to Donna Andersen, the founder of this site. Her insight is so valuable. I read and journal often. I also have turned to God A LOT. You will heal from this, but, it takes time. That’s the hard part. I hope you find your way to the serenity you deserve.

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