Reply To: He left me a birthday gift at my door

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Resillient85, it’s ok that you broke the no contact rule.💜


After I finally escaped my husband (now ex thank goodness), I was watching a Dr Phil show where he was taking with a wife who had been cheated on, the long term mistress & husband. Dr Phil stated that the likelihood of him leaving his wife for the mistress was slim and that the likelihood (if he did leave his wife) of their relationship working out (mistress & the husband) was very slim to none.

I research this after the show. I found these statistics:

87% of married men that are caught cheating on their wives, want to stay with the WIFE & not the mistress. 87%!!

My divorce lawyer made the comment that “most women are the ones to file for divorce”. So I research this too:

83% of divorces filed in the US are filed by the wife!!! So if you think he is going to divorce his wife, that to is slim. Not as long as she is in the dark about his cheating & getting what ever he wants from her i.e. a place to live, sex, money, family etc

Let those stats sink in for a moment. The fact is this guy is sucking everyone it to his con game, His wife most likely has zero idea that you even exist. He is able to control his wife & now possibly control you. This is what he wants!

What do sociopaths & abusers want most??


As a “wife”, my ex was sweet talking (love bombing) me during our marriage while at the same type mentally & emotionally (sometimes physically) abusing me. Just like this guy has done to you & most likely his now wife.

But with his sweet talking words I stayed (sadly). Just like you are being sweet talked (love bombed) back into a relationship with him now that he is married. I had suspecting that my ex was cheating on me when we were just dating but with no prof that he was I stayed. Even thought my gut was screaming he was cheating. When I thought he cheated before our wedding & I wanted to call of the wedding he manipulated me. Throughout my marriage he cheated. After 5 years he controlled my mind fully & broke me down emotionally & mentally that I felt stuck in the marriage. This is what they do to the wife & mistress.

When I caught my ex in a two year affair, I had my suspicions but no proof, I was leaving him. I was done with his craziness, manipulation, con game!! Everything. He literally begged me on his hands & knees sobbing to stay. That he would “Do everything I demanded to change his ways”. It was ALL a con game!!! Every word!! He did nothing that I required of him. But he then turned pure pure evil & continued to emotional & mentally break me down. I was a former shell of myself by then. I did not tell anyone because he told me not to share info about our relationship to anyone. I was a robot & he programmed me. And as my counselor told me I was in survival mode to stay alive.

His wife right now is enduring all the craziness & More at the hands of this evil man just like you are. She is living a roller coaster hell of a ride every second of the day…just like you do when you are with him!!

HE will do this same behavior & abuse to ANY woman that he can have power & control over!!! This is your future?? Do you really want this crazy manipulative evil man in your life again??

When I finally escaped LITERALLY. I found out that my then husband had 3 mistress in 2 different states!!! Maybe 5..not sure about the other 2.

Do you think these other women knew about each other? NOT A CHANCE!!

Did they know about me? one did the other 2 no.

This ex of yours is likely to also have many many others victims on the hook.

I told my counselor that I thought that my ex cheated on my 8 to 12 times (now that my mind was free from his brain washing & was educating my self on his disorder).

The counsel told me it was more likely 3 to 4 times that amount as sociopaths are SERIAL CHEATERS.

Right now this guy is fishing for excitement. HE will fish for anyone one to meet his needs. These types will even sleep with same sex & hookers. They dont care. They want excitement as they get bored easily. They dont care if they get STD’s they will just pass them onto others as part of the fun. They are SICK MINDED individuals.

When you were a little girl did you say when I grow up I want to date a mental deranged sick individual?

NO!!! SO why are you settling now for a mentally deranged sick individual now.

The original term for sociopath & Psychopath was MORALLY INSANE. That’s what you are settling for! A MORALLY INSANE individual.

You were dating a Morally Insane man!!!!

It’s time to open your mind up from the emotional abuse!!

How can you do this?

GO to the home page here at Lovefraud and scroll down to the YELLOW BOX. And read everything. IF you can contact Donna Anderson (LF site creator) to talk to her. She charges a small fee for this service. But no doubt it will help you! Also Mary Ann Glenn (do a search on her name up at the top of LF) does free group counseling sessions over the net. I believe she will be conducting one this week??? Not sure look it up!

One of the best things I did was go to my local abuse center after I escaped my husband. They had free counseling where I spoke with a counselor who had also left a abusive relationship. This helped to finally connect with someone who understood what I endured. At her recommendation I attended the free women group meeting. THIS WAS INCREDIBLE because each women told their story. Out of 40 women about 30 of them had the same type story I did. IT was EYE OPENING to say the least that YES!! I WAS BEING ABUSED!!

I was being emotionally, mentally, financially, verbal abused & some times physically abused.

I always thought that domestic abuse was physical abuse only. I was wrong! The bulk of abuse is emotional, mental, financial & verbal abuse!!!

Start researching what is emotional & mental abuse.

Read up on this!!

Wishing you all the best!! So glad that you came here to Lovefraud to post again!! This is a huge step in healing. Before you call him or see him. Come here & VENT this might just help you to not call him.

HUGS to you!!! 💜

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