lf2

Reply To: Denial of it all

#43792

Jan7
Participant

You state:

“It’s like he has the memory of a high tech computer and I’m just in a fog…”

YES! your symptom of “fog” is sadly normal for an abuse victim. The stress you have been living under has stressed your adrenal glands & now they are releasing high levels of cortisol & adrenaline and messing with your hormones, blood pressure & blood sugar. Read up on symptoms of adrenal glands via the websites I listed above.

It’s scary to be where you are at right now. Your mind has awaken from all of his brain washing & mind control & you want out. Just like a cult victims mind awakening from a Cult leader brain washing.

It’s not that simple to leave if you are married or/and if you have children. So just do one step at a time, one day at a time…sometimes just one minute at a time or one hour at a time. When you feel stressed out put your hand on your heart and just feel your breathing. If you are breathing fast, take the time to take deep breaths and think of say a beautiful beach etc.

You should be so proud of yourself for all the positive steps you are making out of this toxic environment. You are stronger then you know!! You can do this. Just know you dont have to do it alone. Get your families to look at love fraud & educate themselves on what you have been enduring. Get the help of your local abuse center & lawyer.

You state: “What types of things do I need to document?”

Example: on 1/20/18 at 10 am he called me “crazy” and continued to belittle me in front of our daughter for an hour because I asked him to help me with the dishes. I attempted to walk away only to have him follow me.

What ever he says & does to you (physically hurts you or grabs you or pushes you up against the wall or corners you in a room so that you cant leave…DOCUMENT!! Also go back in the relationship for day one & document everything that he has said or done to you, your daughter or others.

HIDE THIS DOCUMENT!! DO NOT LET HIM SEE IT FOR YOUR SAFETY!!!!

CLEAR YOUR COMPUTER HISTORY EVERY TIME YOU USE IT. AND IF HE IS HOME CLEAR YOUR COMPUTER HISTORY SAY EVERY 10 MIN. TO KEEP YOU SAFE.

If YOU can not hide the document in your home or on your computer then leave a journal at a trusted friends home or at the local abuse center.

You state: “He wrote me a letter saying that he doesn’t want to be a product of his past and he really wants to do what he can to change and become a better husband and father and he is so sorry and deeply hurt by how he acted….:

THIS IS PART OF THE CYLCE OF ABUSE…for days you have been living in hell with him even having to call the police. Now he is shifting to the lovebombing stage again to get you sucked back in only to have the tension & abuse cycle happen again.

HIS WORDS ARE LIES…just look at how many times he has made you promises only to be broken.

GOOGLE THE DOMESTIC ABUSE CYCLE POWER WHEEL. to read more about the cycle of abuse.

How many more years of abuse are you going to settle for with this guy?

You are going to survive & thrive without him in your life. It will be difficult at first but you will look back and know in time that the greatest gift you ever gave yourself & your daughter was your freedom. You will find peace & calmness again.

Hugs to you!! 💜


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