lf2

Reply To: Denial of it all

#43815

takenmylifeback
Participant

You are an angel! 💖

I am going to try to get away tomorrow to call the abuse center

Reading your story makes me think maybe I’m wrong about my situation (i know its just old habits coming back of giving him excuses) his rage is bad not as bad as what you had to endure and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. 💖

I still feel guilt like maybe I am making the wrong decision is that normal? Even though you KNOW it’s not ever going to change?

I also didn’t want to be with him or move in with him or any of that when we first met… I don’t want to say it was out of pity but something was there where I felt I had to save him because I was giving him money and car rides buying his groceries and paying for his food all in the beginning. Now it’s 9 years later and I don’t offer much to him so I’m not sure what he gets from me. I don’t work, I cook every now and then, I have lost my sex drive, I’m not sure what is left to offer

My 2 older kids are only allowed at my house because papers state my ex cant keep them from me. They used to live with us but their dad and I agreed it was in their best interest to live with him for a while. My ex’s definition of a while is when I leave this relationship because of everything that has happened… fighting, “kicking us out” but soon after apologizing and telling us he is sorry

He has cheated on me once that I know of rendezvous style while I was at a friend’s wedding… when I left him the last time I found out and broke no contact to tell him off about the news of his cheating and guess what!? It was my fault I felt guilty and came back
Just like how he is still trying to make me feel guilt for what is going on now. Telling me “you did this…you made it this way” then asking what He did to deserve this and has acted depressed for 2 days now.

To see you say you are proud of me is such an amazing feeling thank you! 😊 I can imagine you help a lot of people in their darkest times 💖


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