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Reply To: Never saw it coming!

#44357

blindedbylove32
Participant

Thank you Donna & Sunnygal

It’s been a long eight days, I’m feeling pretty anxious today. I have been keeping busy. The house is spotless…which I see that as if my house is in order then so am I. So, I’m getting as much information as I can because I know battling my addiction-Using is just a symptom, you got to get down to the core problem, and that is with him being a spath and I being a woman who loves to much-we just keep going around & around. It’s so exhausting…He kept me isolated. The kicker to this-I came home to be with and see my family, to build relationships with them, really get to know my kiddo. I haven’t seen them since xmas. What a joke! My mother, God love her, she gave me a new copy of Women who Love too Much by Robin Norwood. My very own toolbox to help me see his actions/reactions clearly for what they were and how to not join in if you will. WOW! Guess what? My roommate said hey I’m going to the library what books do you want? The only one I could think of was hers. I saw a lot of me in the wrong way and a lot of him in the wrong way. We were feeding off each other. It made me nauseated, I’m 37 and never been married…my mind thinks I’m running out of time, lol! You know what the strange thing is? Every abusive relationship where they actually beat the hell out of me-I left and never looked back and was fine by myself. I feel like I’m dying over here. He hurt me worse than all of my physical abusers. I think I know why, I never received bruises on the outside-this was an inside job.
I want to thank every single person whose wrote articles, posts, comments, comments to me. This is a wealth of educational, informative, and honest sharing.

So sorry for all the rambling on, I had to get some of this out.

Thanks for having this site, it has opened my eyes so fast, I’m glad I don’t have to go on forever thinking I did everything wrong.


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