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Reply To: Has he finally gone away for good???

#44425

thirdtimelucky
Participant

Hi Jan7,
Thank you for your message and your security tips. He does not know my car registration so he cannot check with the Roads office. My new place has good security and nice neighbours (its in a secure apartment complex).

Thank you for your suggestion about warning my son – I do not think he’d turn up at the school or if he did, the school and/or other parents would call me, however, who knows. With sociopath anything is possible. I have not told my son that he would not be coming back as yet – said that he has had a hip replacement (true) and cannot travel for a few months. As he did not live with us and based in another city, my boy did not see him more than 3-4 nights per month. He has not seen SP for about 2 months now and is not asking after him.

I put away our photos, including of him with my son (very sad looking at them, my boy was so happy, yet it was just a giant lie).

I have been reading a lot on the disorder and speaking to a few trusted friends which made things easier for me (or I questioned if I was too harsh on him and perhaps another chance…My friends put me straight with that one, they saw me suffering over the last 18 months).

As to how I am going emotionally: I am feeling numb and my sleep is disturbed (fingers crossed will get better once I move in 2 weeks). Reading books about the disorder, long walks along the beach (luckily I live near by) and packing for moving helps. I need to get back to exercise. I miss my time with him on some days (E.g. today is 1 months since I’ve seen him last. I knew it was the last time on that day).

What concerns me is that I was not able to sit down and have a good cry about it. Perhaps because I did a lot of crying 12 – 4 months ago, when I first got the incling of the lies. I used to burst into tears sitting in a cafe, and it was on a day he was supposed to see me!
My last crying session was on New Years Day he left my son and I at a hotel where we spent NYE (which I paid for!), saying he had an urgent work call and had to leave. I cried and cried for an hour after he left. Then nothing. When he returned his key to my place and left With his clothes, I had no tears. Just relief he was gone.

Ps: I keep thinking about his poor wife, from surveillance photos she looks like a nice lady, obviously loves him to bits and works hard 5 days a week, probably paying most of their bill! I hope her life improves and he never cheats on her again. She does not deserve him treating her like he does.


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