Reply To: Love in the time of abuse


Donna Andersen

Oliveoyle – thank you so much for sharing your story. The guy is disordered. Everything you described is typical sociopathic behavior. You may have wondered if the problem was the drugs and alcohol. Please understand that substance abuse and antisocial personality disorder are genetically related. Many sociopaths are also addicts. The problem is that if they overcome their addiction, they are still sociopaths.

Your path forward is absolutely perfect. Recognizing your emotions, and then allowing them to roll through you, will help you to release the pain of the experience. And your admonition (to yourself) to be gentle with yourself is also perfect.

You are a caring human being, thinking you might be able to help him. Now you know that his problems are not yours to solve.

I recommend that you make up your mind, once and for all, that you are finished with him. Don’t let him back in, process the emotions of the experience, and you’ll be just fine.

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