Reply To: Coping with "withdrawal", grief and betrayal

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Thank you for your encouragement.
This weekend was a tough for me but I made it.
5 years ago was our first weekend together which we spent attending a live motorsport event. And continued to do it for the 4 years of our relationship.
A week ago I was having flashbacks to how good it was, to share this experience with SP.
Then I stopped myself: this is something I enjoyed since I was a child, with or without a guy in my life (one year I even took myself off overseas to watch a race).
So I booked a last minute ticket and spent a day at the track today. I had a great time even if I did not have anyone “special” to be there with me.
This made me realize that with or without SP my life goes on and a lot of activities we did together were my passions, not his.
The next mental barrier for me is to pick up my golf clubs again.
Last time I played golf was with him on the day we broke up.
I have not been on the course since (and this is something I started 20 years ago at uni! And something I love doing with my son on a weekend).

It’s now been 3 weeks of complete NC. The urge to text comes and goes. I let myself feel it and instead of fighting it or blaming myself for having it, I ask: what is it likely to achieve? The answer always is: nothing good. So it passes. Just a little technique that helps me.

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