Reply To: Trying to recover after being discarded



cnd…This is a brutal part of the experience with these sorts. When the curtain truly comes down, we take off our rose colored glasses, and we can ‘see the show’ for what it really is. A complete sham.

This does not mean your love was a sham. It means his acceptance of your love, and his loving you back….THAT was a total sham.

So now you have to come to concrete terms with his total lack of ability to love, to be honest, and come to closure with you; while you grieve the loss of what you ‘thought’ you had.

Though it will sound like I am offering spiders web, instead of a rescue rope, with which to pull yourself out of this.

My advice is non-the-less the same: Go NO CONTACT. Pull the plug on ALL contact. It is the best way to keep yourself from getting re-engaged, and further brutalized. AND, be KIND TO YOURSELF. Treat yourself with love, kindness, RESPECT. Your healing will be accelerated if you refuse to degrade yourself.

Degrading ourselves is inviting more abuse. It is not allowing ourselves rest, food, friendships, movement, and support. So be sure to treat yourself as a GOOD person.

You were targeted, fooled, abused, and dumped. But that does not mean YOU are not a good and decent person. It means he is. Don’t get confused on this matter. You did not do anything to deserve this treatment, and it is a reflection of his total lack of character that he lied to and betrayed you.

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