Reply To: Broke "no contact": how to get back on track?

Home Forums Lovefraud Community Forum – General Broke "no contact": how to get back on track? Reply To: Broke "no contact": how to get back on track?




The way “to get back on track now?” = Jump right back on your horse & ride fast away from him!! 🐎🐎🐎💜

You are not the first to break the no contact rule, like Donna states. You get it now. You are feeling the pain that he causes you whether you talk with him on the phone, are with him or like now, just by sending him a message.

Feel these feelings!! Write them down on a piece of paper or in a journal right now, so that if you feel the urge to contact him again, you can read what you wrote, right now, about why you should NEVER EVER contact him again.

Here are some of your feelings you posted above:

As soon as I sent it, I knew it was a mistake.
He did not respond which is a relief.
But I feel I am back to square one.
I am beating myself up for being weak and sending a text.
I am trying to analyse why today and what triggered it

Just after, secretly leaving my husband, (he was on a business trip) I felt like I could not talk to him because I felt he was brain washing me by his words. Even though I knew nothing about brain washing, My gut was telling me (more like screaming) to keep him away from me in all forms: in person, emails & phone calls, even though at that time I was not educated on, exactly, who he really was or had never heard of the term “no contact rule”. When he did contact me after I had divorce papers delivered to him, again my gut kicked in, telling me not to read his ranting emails which would come thru on my phone at all hours of the night, they all included blame shifting, pity play, all forms of manipulation.

Listen to your gut instinct right now, all of these feelings you just wrote down are telling you to keep him out of your life = LISTEN TO THESE VERY STRONG GUT REACTION TO HIM!!

Remember most victims have PTSD with/or leaving a sociopath. So, you being triggered, is not a surprise. It is expected. Sadly! I get triggered with divorce letters from his attorney or mine. It’s awful. Just like this day was for you today. Triggers are very common with all victims. When I first left my ex they were ever second of the day. With time these triggers subside.

Donna gives good advise about waiting an hour. I think it’s important to get the thought out of your head…for me, I would come to these support sites when I was triggered & would just type to get the emotions out of my mind. Sometimes I would go back & delete the post, other times I left them so that others could help me stand up again. YOU SHOULD PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK for coming to love fraud & posting this post!! This is part of the healing process.

If you dont want to post publicly, just get a journal & write in the journal instead of calling him or sending him an email. GET YOUR THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR MIND.

US President Abraham Lincoln would write letters to people that upset him but never sent them, instead he would just put them in an envelope & put them in his desk drawer. This is what I aways thought of when I receive a ranting email from my ex…just one day I thought of this & never responded to him again. Slammed the door on him. You will get to this point too.

Steven Hassan, (cult & domestic abuse expert) author of Freedom of mind, stated in an video interview that you should train your brain to see them as evil…picture your ex’s picture next to say Charles Mason or Hitlers photo…then ever time you see his face in your mind, you see him as evil. It really does work. I cant look at a picture now of my ex h without see his true image = evil.

You have done so many wonderful steps to get out of this relationship in such a short time frame. With everything you have been doing to get a new car, pack & move, raise your son…you just let your guard down…it’s ok. You put your guard shield 👚back on…and now you can march forward into your new life that you are building with out him.


  • This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Jan7.

Send this to a friend