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Reply To: Broke "no contact": how to get back on track?

#44919

thirdtimelucky
Participant

Hope4us,
Thank you for your message and Happy Easter to you too (I am in Australia as we also do not have any similar forums, so time difference is not an issue).
I went to an Easter service yesterday (I am not a regular goer). Perhaps it was the music or the atmosphere of this particular church (if you read my prior posts, I moved into a new area so that SP does not know my address), but I had this realisation that I could recover after this betrayal and become stronger (if Jesus could rise from the dead, after being betrayed, I could survive a SP). Next I started crying, but they were “good”, cleansing tears. One of the ladies in the congregation sat down next to me and we just hugged (I did not know anyone at this church, just went to the closest Christian one in my new neighbourhood). She asked if I was ok, I said, yes, I was just mourning someone who died (and it is true – the image I had of SP, hopes for the life together they are dead. She asked when – I told her about 18 months ago (this is when I first discovered initial lies). So I had my cry, then walked home and enjoyed the rest of my Easter Sunday. I took myself out to dinner at an inexpensive place, a long bath and read a good book.
I woke up feeling completely different today, content, started thinking about the future (I am finishing a post grad and need to look into flexible work options, I need to be here for my son (thankfully he is not from SP!). Had a great day, all in all (Even if I was missing my son not being with me during this Easter, his turn to be with dad).
I still get an occasional craving to tell SP I had discovered the truth about him and his lies, but these cravings are less and less now, more like fleeting thoughts.
Plus I know how it feels when you break “NC”. Enough to deter me from doing it again.


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