Reply To: Broke "no contact": how to get back on track?




He states:

” I met him and he came clean about some of the lies, apologised and admitted he’s a bad person.”


When someone tells you who they are = BELIEVE THEM!!!

My ex told me these same things = bad person. I wanted to believe that he could change that his childhood had something to do with his behavior. These people NEVER CHANGE but they change their target victims by breaking them emotionally down. DONT LET HIM BREAK YOU down any further = RUN RUN RUN From him.

He states:

“He also told me that he doesnt like my kids”

Of course he does not like your children, he cant control you 24/7 with your kids having needs. Sociopaths want all the attention, with kids around he cant have you catering to his every need or manipulation tactic.

Sociopaths will often manipulate their target victim to give up their children to there father so that they can ISOLATE the target victims = more control over the target vicim. One of the first things a sociopath does is isolate their target away from family & friends to have full mind control over them.


You state:

“shame he didnt make an effort with them.:

The fact he did not make an “effort with them” is a BLESSING!! They have been saved from the hell of a sociopath by him not messing with their minds!! THANK GOODNESS!!

You state:

“that was why he wouldn’t move in or book a holiday, shame he didnt make an effort with them.”

Sociopath always manipulate their target vicim with these kinds of blame shifting. What he is doing is a very covert mind game for you to start resenting your own children. This is the kind of sick & twisted mind games they play!!

He states:

“He claims his Mum has cancer”

THIS IS PITY PLAY MANIPULATION (look this up at love fraud) whether she does or dose not, the fact that he was telling you this yesterday but not before, again is just more mind game manipulation to control you so that you take him back.

He states:

“of course he’s been checked for STI’s because of me, ha ha. Great, now I also have worry of that.”

What he really is saying = Ive been screwing around with everyone so you are just going to accept that.

This is another reason why you should not let this sociopath back into your life…who knows who he has been with…who knows what disease he picked up…a disease that could kill you or prevent you from having a new loving relationship with a good person.

He states:

“He wants to book couples counseling,”

Of course he does, he hates your children, has been screwing around on you, treated you horribly & know he wants “couples therapy” because NONE of his one night stands or a few weeks long flings do not want a relationship with him because they see a MARCHING BAND OF RED FLAGS WITH HIM. Pleases see them too!!

Please know that sociopaths are masterful manipulators with counselors. And in counseling they will learn quickly from the counselors methods to literally manipulate you with these learn counselor technique.

What I personally learned from couples counseling with my ex, a sociopath, is it is a waste of money. You will leave counseling with your head more screwed up by the lies & manipulation the sociopath will inflict on you in counseling. It’s an absolute mind screwing time in counseling with the counseling helping him if the counselor are clueless about sociopath & their abuse.

Best to only do individual counseling with a counselor who is extremely knowledgeable with sociopathic abuse.

You state:

I know it’s all wrong and I need to go cold turkey again.

YES!! Follow the No contact rule!!

You state:

“I have isolated myself as a result of this relationship and have no one to turn to.”

Reach out to your most trusted old friends & family & tell them what you are dealing with & ask them to accept your apology for blocking them out of your life. Those that accept your apology are true friends.

You state:

“I’m trying to make new friends, I am meeting my daughter’s friend’s mum today, she knows the situation but doesn’t fully understand”.

This is a good step. My advise is limit how much time to talk about this subject with this “new friend”…most likely she will never get what you truly are going thur and might get tired of hearing everyday what this man is putting you thru.

Luck up the site “Meetup. com…its a site that list all the clubs, organizations etc in your area…there might be other sites to. This would be good for you to get out & just have some fun and not think about this sociopath & his mind game.

You state:

The hardest thing is to let go without having my say, but if that’s what it takes then I’ll write the letter and not send it.

YOU get it = you never get your “say” with him..sociopaths do not want you to have any thoughts expect their thoughts in you head. They want to control your mind = mind control & brain washing literally.

You state:

“I’m supposed to meet him tomorrow, I’ll cancel following your advice.”

YES!! DO NOT MEET HIM…HE IS SUCKING YOU BACK INTO HELL!! Run & keep your precious children away from him too!!

Hugs to you!!💜

Wishing you the best!

PS be prepared from him to get angry if you dont go. Sociopath will use lovebombing to suck someone back into their game, if that does not work then they will use anger,intimidation, fear etc to get their target back into their grips. Follow the no contract rule with the help of your local abuse center & your counties National Domestic violence hotline 800-799-SAFE (USA) and their website. Look up the terms Domestic abuse safety plan & exit plan (there are also you tube videos on these exit plans)

  • This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Jan7.
  • This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Jan7.

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