Reply To: Broke "no contact": how to get back on track?



Thirdtimelucky, Thank you for your kind words. 💜

It’s so crazy when these sociopaths do the same behavior. Yours with books & mine. I love to read. Loved to go to the library. He said he like to read, had a office full of books, yet, would only read maybe a chapter in a book, but never, did I see him actually finish a book in the 12 years of marriage. Not once.

He did however, put a book on the kitchen table towards the end of the marriage (can remember the title, reminds me of when Donna Anderson’s ex sociopath put her rings in the lock box with a birth certificate of the baby that was born during her marriage by another woman who had no idea about Donna nor Donna of her but her ex wanted her to see it at the end of their marriage when Donna was out of money), while he was on a “business trip”, I started to read this book, to see why he put it on the kitchen table. My gut was telling me he put it there intentionally. At the time I was extremely sick (now I know from the daily stress, chaos, abuse& gas lighting he was inflicting on me), I started to read the book and it was shocking the book was basically how to manipulate everyone to do what you wanted.

My mind was not clearly connecting everything with regards to his manipulation towards me & this book. it was however, a light bulb moment, that stuck in my mind. As you know, when you are in a relationship with a sociopath your mind is not your own to think clearly. They have it twisted up with brain washing & mind control. I remember also thinking what kind of person writes such an awful book = sociopath!!

He also once, had me read a classic book, when I told him I wanted to read all the old classics that I had never read in high school. He ran to his office & then handed me a book. I started to read it but it was too dark. I light happy books & movies, not dark evil books. I told him I did not like the book after only reading the first chapter and was not going to continue to read it. He basically demanded that I read it. I continued to reading and hated the book. After I finished the book he literally interrogated me about what I had read. As if it was a College Literary oral final exam interrogation. I’m just shaking my head now at all the bread crumbs he gave me during the marriage as to him being a sociopath. The book I realize after I left, is about a young man who is a sociopath (not mentioned in the book) and how he was cold towards everyone including his own mother, used people and he ended up murdering someone in the book.

They know who they are. The highly functioning sociopaths will use what they have read, or watched in a movie/tv to manipulate you. Just like your ex narcissist & sociopath. When I normal person reads a book like that old “classic” book, we just dont connect the character because it is not how we think or act or the people in our lives think or act…however a sociopath sees common behavior & connects with the other sociopaths that they see in movies character or a book character in books. So yes, this is a red flag if someone hands you a book that is dark or convincing you to date him. My ex had to manipulate me to date him, I had zero interested.

I read a study after I left, that human’s can determine if someone is trustworthy with in 3 seconds of meeting them. The red flag bed serpent behavior, you witnessed by your ex, is one of those moments. Your mind solved the puzzle of this evil man at that moment you were with, but unfortunately, you did not have the actual word “sociopath” to explain at the time he was a sociopath. And your gut alarm was blaring loudly.

I’m sorry too, to hear that you were taken in by two extremely evil men. So much heartache on this planet. The sadist part of this whole nightmare for all of the victims is these abusive relationships keep occurring with every generation simply because our society (1000 years), is not, educated on the fact that narcissist, sociopaths & psychopath blend into our society. Heart wrenching.

Thank goodness for Donna & Terry’s hardwork in setting this insightful educational website.

Glad you are moving forward & connecting all the dots of your ex(s). Soon you will only see them as pure evil. That is a good moment. Seeing the truth.

Take care.

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