Reply To: she thinks she's the drama queen


Donna, talking of isolating, she is planning to go overseas with him this month for 6 mths, a 13 + hour flight away from home, to a small, remote, hot city in a nearby country where he will play his sport for a local club.

My husband told her when he heard, that it was not a good idea, that he has broken 2 contracts to play his sport in other countries in the last 2 years (and 1 job contract the year before, contracts that his mother gets him out of by playing the ‘he’s just a boy’ card), and that he may do the same this time, change his mind last minute, and she will have already given up her 2 jobs and paid for flights.

This time there’s no contract, there are no jobs lined up or accommodation to go to – of course a father would be concerned!

My husband also matter-of-factly said it was not a good idea because when things go bad in the relationship, as they regularly do, she will be a 13 hr flight away from us, and we won’t be able to just drive over and help her.
My husband said he could see her eyes glaze over when he spoke.
She didn’t reply.

Today we heard she has moved into his mother’s house with him
(mother-the enabler, the one who encourages our daughter to do what her son wants and not what her father advises, this has happened numerous times)
because the girl she was flatting with is treating her badly. And she will stay there until they go overseas.

Of course he would never allow her to come home to us, because her father told her it was not a good idea to go overseas with him.

The whole thing is like a punch in the gut and I’m telling myself I don’t care because I really don’t know how to deal with how much I do care.

Does she really need to go to this next level of isolation and hurt?
Do we really need to watch her live with him for 6 mths overseas?

(they have never lived together, because he benefits too much from living with mummy, and he gets the benefits of marriage from my daughter without any commitment or responsibility on his part anyway)

She is already saying she is run down, she has unexplainable itchy red patches that appear on her legs, I can see her hair has fallen out and is so thin, and her hair was always her most stunning feature. She was being mistreated by her flatmate and one of her bosses (being taken advantage of and overworked as a nanny). I know this is because her self esteem is so low, and her boundaries are pretty much non existent due to the abuse from the wolf.

I just want to warn her, I want to put it out there straight – look up these words before you go, ‘psychopath, sociopath, narcissist’. Look up ’emotional abuse.’
I want to yell out, ‘LET MY DAUGHTER GO!’, ‘ENOUGH!’
I want to force her eyes open and show her the mask and the games and the meanness and the exploitation.

Instead I write it here and try and carry on as if nothing is amiss.

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