lf2

Reply To: she thinks she's the drama queen

#45011

Jan7
Participant

Thank you Donna.

Donna & Freedomformydaughter, I have traveled the world extensively with my past career, with the past business my ex (sociopath) & I ran and also for vacation.

What I know for sure when dealing with my ex sociopath, is the emotional, mental & verbal abuse escalated when you are traveling with a sociopath, if the airline is delated = your fault in the sociopaths mind, airline food is bad = your fault, hotel will not let you check in early = your fault, also if the sociopath drinks they are going to drink more on a trip then usual and just because they might be bored during the travel time they will abuse you for fun.

On at trip with a sociopath you feel stuck. I believed in my mind because of the brain washing that I was “stuck” dealing with his abuse on these trips. He loved to push buttons on the trip, to complain endless etc. I did feel stuck. Especially on a business trip with him & other colleges or with friends on vacation. You dont want to make a scene and leave the trip in-front of others. So you just suffer because you feel like there are no other choices.

Had someone told me that you CAN make an “Exit Plan” before a trip (like I posted above) with the sociopath, maybe, I would have had the courage to leave him during one. I remember being in Europe on a business trip where I reached my breaking point with him. I dont like to fight, so my reaction was to flee during a day where we were just sight seeing. He followed me, even though I told him to stop, to go with the others, so that I wanted peace. He did not want me to have peace by being on my own that day. With peace comes = thinking on your own = change = leave him. He did not want this, so he literally walked so close to me while yelling or telling me how to think while we were in this beautiful overseas city.

At the time I felt stuck because I did not have any cash on me & had just an Amex, which is not the most ideal credit card to have when traveling because internationally lots of places do not take Amex. I thought about going back to the hotel, but again trying to get a taxi (the hotel was not down town) with an Amex & no cash might have been impossible. On top of this my head was swarming from all the stress he put me under.

Another time, same thing he was pushing my buttons for fun, we were at an International Airport leaving one international spot for another with “friends” on vacations. The “friends” were his friend and his wife. The wife & I never really became close because my ex would not allow me to get close to anyone = because then I could expose him = so he triangulated me with all of his friends wives. There we were, him pushing my buttons relentlessly the whole trip and I just had it, this coming just after finding out about his two year affair with his co work. I said I was leaving to go home & walked to the check in counter to change my ticket home.

I literally was standing in front of the counter to change my ticket when the wife, not my ex came to convince me to stay & continue the trip. She asked me point blank in front of the two Airline check in employees “Did he cheat on you”. I was so embarrassed because at the time I though I was to blame for his cheating. I told her no, which was a lie just out of embarrassment, shame and being broken down spiritually by my ex. The two counter personnel were right their listening. I was changing my ticket to go home but this friends wife talked me out of it. I was so close to freedom, yet I stayed.

Again, I felt stuck at the Airport right then & there. My gut reaction was to RUN. This is why it is so important to follow your gut & most importantly to have an Exit Plan out where ever you are, at home or on a trip to a remote island. Your daughter needs to know that there is an “Exit” off this remote island even if its 13 hours away from her family. She needs to know that no matter what happens you will help her. Let her know this.

My heart breaks for you & your daughter. She is a step ford wife to him, brain washed & under his mind control. But I know this for sure, one day she will reach her breaking point with his abuse & will leave him & that is where you & your husband step in & give her a soft place to land…no “we told you so”…just a soft place to land & guidance to look at Donna’s wonderful site Lovefraud.

Take care.


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