lf2

Reply To: Victim of a Female Sociopath

#45090

alteredreality
Participant

I’m not sure how to explain it, but something was different this morning. Maybe it was knowing I was going to see her and I had already convinced myself that it would be awful or traumatic. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. Even though the last 10 days of no contact were brutal, I honestly think they helped more than I had realized.

After walking my daughter to class I knew that we would be walking back to our cars together, so I was apprehensive about what would transpire. I was determined to keep my emotions in check and be as robotic as possible. She asked how my Easter break went, and I told her it was good. No details, just good. She then proceeded to tell me how hers was terrible, complained about several things (work, friends, etc.), and before I knew it the long walk to the cars was over. I gave no insight, no thoughts, just listened until she was finished. I then told her I was sorry she had a bad week and that hopefully this week would be better for her, got in my truck and drove off.

I was FULLY expecting to be an emotional train wreck after seeing her, and dreaded the thought of coming home alone. I didn’t sleep well at all last night obsessing about it. As it turns out, I think listening to her complain about everything under the sun made me question why I wanted to be with her in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, the feelings are still there for her, but I’m really taking stock of what I miss and why. Today was an eye opener of sorts, and I don’t feel nearly as bad this morning as I had expected. Maybe this is the official start of getting back to who I was. I’m looking forward to working out again for the first time in two weeks. That’s something I never thought I would say even 4 hours ago.

Thank you again to everyone who has been with me on this journey. Long road ahead, but I’m going to take it one day at a time.


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