Reply To: "Hover by Proxy"



Thank you for your suggestion to copy her texts and save them (I did not think of it!).

Just to show how SPs operate, my ex had this child whilst he was married to wife no 1. Without divorcing wife no 1, he moved in with his pregnant girlfriend. Told me that he had to leave the relationship when the daughter was 2 yo as her mother was physically and emotionally abusive. Apparently used to go into jealous rages. Also told me the mother used drugs on occasion and was sexually promiscuous. “I tried to be a hands on dad, got up during the night, but the mother just kept abusing me. She then won total custody of my daughter and I did not see her until she was 23”.

As part of my PI inquiries, the truth was that he was already living with someone else when this child was 6 months old (probably walked out on her mother shortly after birth). He then divorced wife no 1; married wife no 2 (at which point the mother of his daughter remarried. I am not sure about her winning full custody. SP told me numerous times he did not like kids. He was a “party boy” and “womaniser until I was 40”. He was 32 at the time and I have a feeling he did not want anything to do with the child).

He then divorced wife no 2 and married wife no 3 (the current one). By comparing property and divorce records, it looks like at the time he divorced no 2, he was already with future no 3.

His daughter appeared out of nowhere in the 2nd year of our relationship, he was hot and cold with her (either “she is so like me” or calling her all sorts of names. He then cut contact with her 12 months ago (apparently she kept asking for money but who knows).

I’ve only met her 4 times and she never made an effort to have contact with me (I thought at the time she was a psycho. Now I see she is so like her dad).

I am not sure if she knows that her father is married to someone else (he introduced her to me as his “future wife”, to my knowledge he did not tell her about his real family and kept that life secret, e.g. she thought he was living in a shared house).

This is what puzzles me: why not introduce his daughter to his wife and keep me secret (especially as I live in a different town from his daughter and wife)? To me it makes no sense but then nothing to do with SP does.

I am aware of a smear campaign strategy. My close friends and family do not like him. I was kept secret from his friends and family. However, he met a couple of dad’s at my son’s school last year. I am mindful that he could approach them for information (and warned their wives that we broke up and not talking, without giving real details).

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