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Reply To: Celebrating 1 month no contact

#45354

thirdtimelucky
Participant

Thank you Jan7 and all other forum members for your comments and support! If it was not for this online community, my recovery journey would have been a lot longer and harder.
No contact is not easy, I wanted (and on occasion still do want) to tell him that I know who he really is, the person behind that well constructed mask and stories.
It is in my power to do so
But it is also in my power to say nothing, to rise above and focus on myself. No contact is not a “rule”. It has become my choice (difficult at time) – to stay silent, dignified. I am powerful and in control of No Contact. I owe no one an explanation (when people are asking about him, depending on my level of trust in them, I say something like “we mutually decided to part as moving to my town was not a viable option”. Only the closest friends know what has happened.
Once I started to look at No Contact as my choice – it is much easier.
Yes, I can response and contact my ex. But I also can choose to do nothing.
No Contact is my power.
PS: I have been using low contact or “reduced contact” with some toxic individuals in my life, like people I used to be friends with 20 years ago and out of loyalty kept them as friends. Now I realise how many of them are or were jealous of me. So I am sharing information about my life very selectively now. I really value my privacy. The gift of trust is reserved for a very special few who have proved their trustworthiness.
It’s not to be given away to all and sundry, this is how I attracted SP in the first place. Early trust. Then “good girls stick around”.
From now on its the other way around. Prove yourself to me first.


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