lf2

Reply To: Celebrating 1 month no contact

#45357

Jan7
Participant

Hi THirdtimelucky, you’re so welcome!! 😊 I’m so happy that you are in a great mindset place now.

“rise above and focus on myself”…this is a POWERFUL statement!! 💪

You slam the door shut on him with this statement!!!

My therapist told me, when I first left my ex, that I would see some friends differently, when I first learned of my ex h’s sociopath traits in counseling.

With education on narcissist & sociopathy behavior, you do start to see the world differently & you see those around you more clearly. Some people that I have know for years, I realize now they have some strong traits of narcissism. You know that they can be selfish at times, but you just try to get along with everyone (that’s what we are taught..right??). But being educated, yes, you choice how you want them in your life = low contact. Maybe just see them at a holiday party or summer bbq party from time to time but not invest in a close relationship with them, because they will never know how to have that kind of close friendship.

You are in a great place now = requiring people to “prove yourself to me first” attitude. When you first end the relationship or get discard you feel lost…you feel like no one will love you because the sociopath has broken down your self esteem & made you dependent on them…..but with time away from the abuser & education, you build your self esteem back up & strength to a point you are happy with your own company…and when you get to that point, you can make healthy choices, as to who you want in your life to have peace,calmness & happiness life.

You should be so proud of yourself for, hiring a PI, seeking counseling, searching the internet for info (leading you to Lovefraud, Posting on LF, educating yourself, returning his car, moving, protecting your son & you & analysis everything you have learned with not only the sociopath but with other current relationships or future relationships. This is it. All the tears & heartache to learn the truth, educating yourself & now you are using everything that you have learned & applying it to real life relationships. POWERFUL!! It shows you have a very healthy brain!!

Yes, only your most trusted friends should know about this horrific relationship. I remember when I first left my ex h & told my closest friend about the abuse and she gave me the wise words = be picky who you tell this story to because some people will use it against you. Meaning they might think that I am weak & abuse me. She is right you need to beware in this world, someone might seem to have your back but really only want info from you to stab you in the back.

There is a good series on Dr Phil’s book Life Code on you tube (an Oprah interview) he too made a point to only open up to most trusted friends. This series on you tube is worth your time to watch. It does not name the terms narcissist or sociopath but that is exactly who he is describing in his book.

Wishing you & your son all the best!!! 💜💜💜

So happy that you are in a great mindset place now!! 🌷🌸🌺🌻


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