Reply To: Can they get better?

Home Forums Lovefraud Community Forum – General Can they get better? Reply To: Can they get better?



Hi Needingclarity, if you go back to him, he will destroy you. That is what sociopaths do. That is their mentality. You escaped his grips once & if you went back he would make you pay = punishment for leaving him the first time.

What do ALL sociopaths want? power & control over others. Dont let him rent space in your mind now!!

I was married for 12 plus years to a sociopath…he got worse with each & every year. After just the first session of marriage counseling, it got worse. When I crawled away from the married, I was broken down spiritually, emotionally, mentally & physically exhausted…he destroyed me finically in divorce court & enjoyed every mind of destroying me. That is what they do. That is what they love most. Your ex h is NO different!!

Your ex played a mind game with you at that party, by bring his newest victim. Sociopaths love mind games with everyone…he most likely played some type of mind game with his new target victim that night too… just like he made you feel insecure and question your decision about breaking up with him by bring her.

They are pure pure pure evil. Their mindset is not normal. DO NOT second guess your gut instinct…you flied to the bathroom that night out of pure FEAR of him!! Remember that!! your gut instinct was to flee his presents for your safety that night!! Your gut instinct was to divorce him. This is what wild animals do = they flee from danger..they dont second guess themselves, they just RUN away from another animal or human.

Google “oprah gavin debecker you tube” to watch their video on listening to your gut. Gavin Debecker’s book is called The gift of fear (do a seach here at LF up at the top right) your local library may have this book. Listen to YOUR gut about his guy.

This new victim of his, will endure the SAME exact abuse, in the same manner as you did. Almost to the T. That is what they do…if their abuse worked with the first victim (you), they will use it on every victim in their future. Same Love bombing methods, some times same gifts, same words and I have read they will take their next target vicim to the same places that they took the first i.e. restaurants, bars etc.

His latest target is already a victim of his abuse. She just does not know it yet. She sees RED flags, just like you did, but cant quite put her finder on what is really going on. She is being manipulated, lied too, gas lighted & ever other trick in the book by him. Like a frog being placed in a pot of water & then the stove being turned on until the water is boiling & the frog has no idea what is going on.

You state:

“he didn’t have a double life, doesn’t do drugs, only cheated on me once..”

YES, HE DID HAVE A DOUBLE LIFE = HE CHEATED ON YOU!!! Who else did he cheat with & get away with it? But cheating once is enough. You must have relationship deal breakers = cheating, being lied to, manipulated, abused are ALL deal breakers!!

You state:

” incredibly successful so doesn’t need/want money, he’s gorgeous and smart and has lots of friends.”


He is a emotional, mental, verbal abuser!!!

He is ugly on the inside hon!! As he ages his “friends” will start to see the truth about him and slowly move away from their fake friendship. Sociopaths do not have deep connecting friendships.

You state:

” But our therapist said he has borderline PD and likely a bit of narcissistic and anti social too.”


You are one of the lucky ones to have found a therapist that is knowledgeable with personality disorders. She has given you the TRUTH about this guy!!! Do not try to second guess her. She has your back!! Your therapist is telling you he has “anti sociol” traits = sociopath or psychopath traits!!

I have read that sociopath do not just have one personality disorder…they have many! All sociopaths are narcissist. I believe my ex h has many personality disorders. I just dont care which ones…I only care that I will never see him ever again.

It’s time for you to go full NO contact with his guy. Block him with social media, dont go to parties he will be attending etc etc.

I would suggest that you by Donna’s book Lovefraud 10 signs you are dating a sociopath, watch her videos up at the top of love fraud, read the yellow tab on the home page and let your counselor know that you have been triggered by him at this party & are questioning your decision to end the relationship with him.

There are 7 BILLION people on this planet, half are male, half of them are in your dating age group…join a club, organization and meet new people & this might lead to a healthy romantic relationship. dont settle for an ex h abuser.

Wishing you all the best. Take care.

  • This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Jan7.

Send this to a friend