Reply To: So unhappy and confused– is it me?



Is this guy’s name Ebenezer by any chance? With that £100,000 bonus, he earns more than twelve times what you do, quite apart from that extra million. With all the work you do for him, he’s exploiting you wholesale for cheap labor, which isn’t fair. You should change your name to Cinderella. Also the household expenses must be high because of his lifestyle–higher than they would be if you lived in a home more suited to your lower income–so it’s unfair to expect you to pay half. You have no business going into debt to support his lifestyle.

It sounds as if you’re not married. If you were, with all the money he has, if you divorced him you should end up with a large financial settlement and you’d be far better off than you are now! Then you could afford to trade in that beat-up old jalopy for a nice new SUV. You could end up saving pounds on Sellotape alone!

However, you may still be entitled to “palimony” in the UK after ten years with all you’ve done for him. If you are, all his talk of leaving you could be a bluff because he’d end up losing a big chunk of his net worth. If I were you I’d talk to a lawyer right away about your prospects. At the very least, splitting is a threat you may be able to hold over his head to get more money out of him. Time to go on strike for a raise! I would also demand that he start by paying off your £20k debt immediately. He can easily afford it. £20k is just chump change to him, a mere 20 of those dinners at the Café Royal!

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