Reply To: Mother is dying, he’s killing me.

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I’m a little confused. Your original post said “He’s killing me” so this is why I suggested the grey rock method. You stated that he only gets upset if you ask something of him. My question is: when he gets upset, what is your reaction? Do you attempt to justify yourself? When he gets upset do both of you argue? If not, then how is he “killing” you? It’s YOUR reaction to his emotional outbursts that’s important. You stated “I have no interest in controlling someone at all.” Not sure where it was suggested that you control him? You also said that you do not want to further whatever made him this way, well, then you’re going to need to stop asking him to do anything. I also read the other replies where you mentioned his daily activities. He sounds very similar to the psycho that I live with. Almost exact same behavior. You are correct when you say he is like a broken child. They are broken children and they have physical brain damage. Their amygdala is malformed and he probably has prefrontal cortex damage….He was most likely sexually abused as well. It is quite common with these types of “people”. Like I mentioned above, you’re being gas lighted and he is also giving you the silent treatment. The ONLY way you’re going to survive this is to change your perspective. Realize that he is “special” (mentally deranged) . You have got to IGNORE what he does and accept that he is someone that will never change. They are incapable of changing, because everything is some one elses fault.
You also said ” I’m sure now to everyone in that house he is a great guy but they have no clue”. After I discovered what this piece of shit is, that manipulated me to move into his house, I have been on a mission to tell everyone and anyone who he really is when I am out in town. Because if I die here, they need to know what he is. He is also a pedophile. I live in a small HICK town population about 3000 and there are many, many “people” here that are socio/psychopaths. WHY? Because, out in the country, child abuse behind closed doors seems to be RAMPANT. These assholes prey on the kind/caring women and then after they have stuck their fangs in them (married or moved in together) the naive women find out who they really are. Many are ex-military and active military since many sociopaths join the military in order to have someone tell them, what to do, how to do and when to do. They need structure because they cannot structure their own lives. They love the thrill. Many are paratroopers….no boundaries whatsoever. Anyway, I do nothing but document his everyday behaviors. I need to, because if something happens to me, I have documentation. One day long ago he even grabbed his shotgun and went out in town looking for me to shoot me. I just took off to the next town and waited for him to cool off. Now I realize that it is all about HOW I react to him. I play the
game” with him now. I PRETEND that there is nothing wrong with him, then I ignore all the dysfunctional things that he does and I do my best to focus on me and my son. He is also not allowed to leave the property without me as an escort since he is a pedophile or I will EXPOSE what he really is to his adult daughters. Have a good one. Do not allow that PIECE OF SHIT to take up residence in your brain. Focus on your mother, your son and yourself. I wish you all the best, girl!! 🙂

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