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Reply To: Mother is dying, he’s killing me.

#45501

flowerchild65
Participant

Hi, BeautifulMonkey,
Not sure if you read my previous comment, since you never responded, but you stated “I wonder sometimes if the issue is me” and also “His response, “look how your acting, who would be there for you, your acting like a crazy bitch.” And he’s right, I am, and he is eerily calm once I get to that”
The reason you’re blaming yourself is because you are being GASLIGHTED and he is projecting his issues onto you. Not sure even if you know how deep the psychological damage gaslighting does to someone? I am not online very often and right now I need to get offline pretty quick, but I would like add that in my years of research, not matter what anyone says, psychopaths, narcissists, sociopaths, whatever label there is for these demons,they are MADE that way, not born that way and it is ALWAYS the fault of the main caregiver during infancy and throughout the formative years. Main caregiver can be a mother, a father, an aunt, a grandmother, a Nanny etc. These types of “people” are in the category of Cluster B personality disorders which are co-morbid. The main caregiver did not form a BOND with the infant. Did not tend to their emotional needs and God knows what other type of abuse was dished out to the child. Allowing a baby to “cry it out” is actually one way to develop psychopathy,because the babies developing brain “shuts down” due to the fact that no one is tending to their needs. Society now is raising children in daycare centers which is another reason (there are many) that narcissism is on the rise. Please do not forget that these “people” have 2 faces so for example you might know a narcissist YET their mother is the kindest person you have ever met. That “kindness” is an ACT for the outside world. Narcissism tends to run in families. There are so many people out there suffering from psychological abuse from narcissistic parents, it’s pretty frightening. Spoiling a child is also abuse. Staying with an abusive partner while there are children involved and being in “denial” about the psychological issues the abuser has is also child abuse. Children always need to know that mommy or daddy is not “right in the head” and if they cannot escape the abusive environment sessions with a counselor or therapist that understands narcissistic abuse is a must, but if the abuser is abusing the children and the non-abuser attempts to make up for the abuse by spoiling the child that is a recipe for a very dysfunctional adult. Another thing that all “partners” of narcissistic sociopaths must admit is that we hooked up with these demons because our parents failed us. They were dysfunctional as well. We tend to subconsciously be drawn to people that were like our parents unless we sit back one day and analyze/research WHY AM I ALWAYS HOOKING UP WITH ABUSERS? Have a nice day 🙂


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