Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.

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I remember this forum post. There are a few self-proclaimed sociopaths on here sharing their experiences, for better or for worse. One way to look at these posts is as a mirror. How are you reacting? Are you feeling fear, anger, or disgust? Are you feeling drawn to the sociopath? This could be a reflection of unresolved issues. Remember when reading that you have boundaries and can always exercise them. If you are feeling drawn to the sociopath, you can notice you are drawn in, but you don’t need to respond. You can use the feelings to process your unresolved issues. What does the addiction feel like? What does it need or want? What information is it giving you?

For me, I have a guard up (which I believe is healthy) telling me not to betray too much emotion with them, because they are probably not to be trusted with my feelings. But then, I’m like this anyway on the internet for the most part, because internet relationships are different from in-person ones. I stand by what I said last year, that we all have this ability to back away from someone and just observe them, or even cut them off energetically. We are not obligated to empathize with everyone we meet. It’s okay to be guarded. You don’t need to try to empathize with the sociopath, because you probably won’t be able to.

I came to this site over 10 years ago now. For the first several years, I was fascinated learning about sociopaths. I had been played by one and it was very painful, so I wanted to learn everything I could about them. After so many years, I just lost the fascination. I may find some of them intelligent and even introspective to the extent they are able to be. But I notice I’m just not that interested in engaging them anymore. I know there is no win-win there. I don’t feel angry or disgusted. I think I’m just walking down a different street.

But I will admit that about 10 months ago, I met a sociopathic contractor. I didn’t know he was a sociopath, of course. He was very charming and convincing. I liked him right away, more than I should have, given the professional nature of our relationship. I immediately recognized this as a red flag and watched my emotions carefully – it was pretty interesting how I was getting drawn in by this guy. But I was also able to pull back because I felt ungrounded. When all the dust settled, he turned out to be an extreme con artist with a long history of conning unsuspecting homeowners. I got out of it without too much financial or emotional loss. I was one of the lucky ones. It could have been much worse.

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