Reply To: So unhappy and confused– is it me?



steph66, your unhappiness is the only information you need. This guy sounds selfish and narcissistic, and he is definitely gaslighting (brainwashing) you. He has no clue who you are or what your life is like. I have dated a few men who had a lot of money and were very controlling with it. One of them wanted to marry me and support me, but he wanted me first to get rid of my beloved cat. Another one kept dangling things in front of me, such as helping me fix my old car. But whenever we would get in an argument, he would take the carrot away that he was dangling. I decided it’s better to be poor than to live with someone like this. I struggled for a few years but then became very self-sufficient. I never had kids like you do, but I had 3 cats, and they were my children. I know it’s not the same, but trying to find a place to live that allowed cats without spending an arm and a leg for security deposit was not easy, nor was the move with them to several different condos over the years while dealing with all of their health issues. All of this has made me very strong. I’m glad I never stayed with the narcissistic men, though I certainly considered it at the time. I will guarantee you that you have much more strength than you think. As Donna says, once you make the decision to move on, you will find support. It’s not that you are the least bit entitled, as you say. It’s that you can’t understand how a many who claims to love you can be so selfish and withholding, laying a trip on you all the while. There’s a big difference.

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