Reply To: Therapy

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Monkey, you don’t know that your partner “has the therapist convinced.” Your partner is very likely lying to you about what the therapist is telling him anyway. After all, he lies to the therapist. By not telling the therapist half of what goes into your arguments, he’s lying by omission. He’s probably lying to you too about what goes on in his sessions.

In fact the therapist is in a difficult position because, as he says, for reasons of confidentiality he can’t tell you what really goes on in his sessions with your partner. And I’m not sure it’s professionally wise for him to be placing himself in that position. But that’s by the way. It’s inevitable that he’d be seeing your partner as a “different person” given that your partner is no doubt putting on a fake persona. Whether or not he does have the therapist “convinced” is quite another question. And regardless of what your partner wants to happen, it doesn’t sound as though the therapist is willing to see you together again. Certainly not to tell you your partner is all right and you’ve got him all wrong!

Anyway your task is not to persuade the therapist to write your partner off as a bad guy, but to get as much help and validation for yourself out of therapy as you can. If you feel the therapist is disbelieving your account of what goes on between you and your partner, then that’s a problem and you’d be best advised to find another therapist. But that’s not what I’m hearing, when the therapist is telling you the things you describe are indeed sociopathic behavior. As long as you feel the sessions are helping you personally, that’s the main concern.

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