Reply To: So unhappy and confused– is it me?



They sound like identical twin brothers, line for line, word for word. And you sound like an amazing and incredible talented woman.

I remember in one of the books I read that it explained how a narcissist will use your kindness and generosity and politeness against you. So they’ll know you wont be able to resist sending them a birthday card cos it goes against your morals not to, and they know you wont be able to resist cooking for them, because you want to be loving, etc etc.

But the way it was explained was like a game of tennis where you are playing by all the rules but the narcissist isn’t. So they will club you over the head and trip you and cheat and do whatever it takes to win. Meanwhile you are doing everything right and properly. But you will never ever ever win because you are playing by the rules and they are not.

Looking at it from the outside, this arsehole just did you a massive favour by kicking you out. Looking back years from now, you’ll wonder why on earth you put up with this kind of crap. But that’s so easy for me to say. And so hard for you to believe and feel right inside your bones.

You sound like a lovely lady, with so much going for you and a bright future ahead if you can only get him out of your system. I’m wondering if you had narcissist parents (I did) so that’s how you got in this situation. I totally wish you every success. Do stay in touch to let me know how you get on.

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