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Reply To: My story, I must be the worlds most gullible, confused idiot on the planet!

#45767

Jan7
Participant

Hi Exnurse2018, sending you huge hugs!! 💜💜💜

My heart aches for you reading your post. You should be so proud of yourself for having the courage to not only research his horrible behavior but also for finding your way to Lovefraud & posting your story. (btw there are no short stories when dealing with a narcissist or sociopath narcissist). You have just take a huge leap out of this nightmare of a marriage by researching & posting here at Lovefraud. Give yourself a high five!!!!!

What you are dealing with is NOT a “marriage”…he is controlling you even though you are living apart. Like Donna states he most likely has someone on the “side”.

You state:

” It feels more like he has property papers or ownership of over me.”

THIS IS HOW EVERY VICTIM OF A SOCIOPATH FEELS!! Your gut instincts are correct. I felt like I had a bird cage over my mind. He controlled every thought of mine, he controlled who I talked to, where I went, what I did etc. Even though you live on your own = he still is controlling you = you are in a abusive marriage!!

We (vicitms) become submissive to a sociopath. They know how to manipulated us so much with mind games that our relationship turns into a parent child type relationship. Meaning they control us and we out of fear of being killed, or left allow them to control us. That is until you break your mind free of their control & the addiction they have created in us that we need them just like food, or alcohol or drug addiction. Donna has articles on this “addiction”. Just do a search at the top of LF.

Do you know you are being abused?

It is very common for a vicim of abuse to suffer from PTSD. I think you are suffering from PTSD. The fact that you lost your job because of the stress he was inflecting on you leads me to believe you suffer from PTSD.

First things first. Get your HEALTH in order!!

Find a good Endocrinologist doctor to test you for vitamin & mineral deficiency, hormonal imbalance, thyroid issues, normal blood work etc.

I believe the root issue for PTSD is Adrenal Fatigue. Do a search on the symptoms of Adrenal fatigue. It’s a long list. On another support site the site creator ask if anyone suffered from health issue while with their narcissist. Over 400 people responded with YES!! And then listed their symptoms. The bulk of everyones symptoms were symptoms of Adrenal fatigue.

Stress is a killer… you are under a tremendous amount of stress & have been because of this abusive sociopath. This stress effects your Adrenal Glands. The Adrenal glands regulate your blood pressure, blood sugar, cortisol & adrenaline levels, and over 50 hormones. When your adrenal glands work over time due to stress (i.e. toxic relationship, work stress, not eating properly, drinking, doing drugs, all etc) the adrenal glands will fatigue. And in return wreak havoc on our body, mind & spirit.

The good news is you can heal your adrenal glands within 6 months to 2 years (depending on the length of time your adrenal glands have been fatigue) with a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, rest & relaxation, possible NATURAL hormonal balancing and vitamins & minerals.

Look at sites like Drlam. com & Adrenal fatigue. org for symptoms and watch their video. They also have books your local library may have books on adrenal fatigue.

Google:

“Dr Fuhrman Eat to live PBS you tube”

“Super Juice me documentary you tube”

“Dr AMen depression you tube”

“Dr Amen PBS you tube”

(consult a doctor before making any changes to your diet or health regiment).

(Dr Fuhrman & Dr Amen both have books your local library may have them as they are both NY Times best sellers authors).

Some symptoms of adrenal fatigue include Anxiety, depression, mood swings, sleep issues, etc etc…it’s a long list.

Just take one day at a time hon, that’s it and when one day at a time is too much…one hours or even just one minute. It it becomes so overwhelming just put your hand on your heart and just breath. Go back to the basics & just feel your breath.

I’m sorry you are enduring this nightmare of a man. Glad that your gut is strong and it sees the truth, you just have to believe your gut is telling you the truth vs his words that are messing up your mind.

Google: Oprah Gavin Debecker You tube” and watch their interview about always listening to your gut instinct. A sociopath will make you depended on them and this will lead to not listening to your built in gut alarm…right now your gut alarm is BLARRING to get this abusive man out of your life for good!!!

SENDING YOU HUGE HUGS TONIGHT!! 💜💜💜💜

Wishing you all the best!! Keep posting here even if you just have to vent things out…dont worry about how long your post is just type away. We have all been where you are & there are no short stories when dealing with a sociopath.

Once you get your health back in order you will be able to think clearly & feel well to see the light out of this abusive relationship.

Take care! 💜😊

  • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  Jan7.
  • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  Jan7.
  • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  Jan7.

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