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Reply To: Narcissistic Mother – the perfect training ground to marry a psychopath

#45828

nrnr50
Participant

Hello all. I am new to this forum and so very grateful for it. Until recently, I didn’t have a clear understanding of what was wrong with my mother. I thought it was me. I was told it was me and for years, I believed it was me. Growing up in an environment where one child was regularly pitted against the other, where every confidence was betrayed and any weakness ridiculed, I sealed my life off from my mother by the time I hit high school. Through college and throughout my marriage, mother knew next to nothing about me. She couldn’t criticize what she didn’t know about. My dearest younger sister was not as strong – I lost her to alcoholism. Her lack of self-worth ran too deep.
When I divorced my sociopathic, narcissistic husband, mum regularly invited him over to her home for dinner! Birds of a feather?
Now, years after her death I am still unraveling the complex knots that wrap my emotions. I remain overly-sensitive to criticism and have significant trust issues. What’s particularly disturbing is that narcissists appear ‘normal’ to me – that is to say that the warning bells don’t go off in my head when they should. Others can recognize these disordered individuals, but my exposure in infancy make them appear normal to me, which makes me an easy mark. I’m working on this.
Thank you for this blog and for all that contribute. It is a life-saver and a sanity-saver for certain.
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