Reply To: Why should the spath have no consequences?


Donna Andersen

Barnesss – count your lucky stars that you have escaped. As far telling other people — this has been the topic of much debate here on Lovefraud. Type the search term “warn the next victim” into the Google search bar at the top of this column to see the discussion.

Yes, silence allows them to get away with their bad behavior. But yes, exposing them can be like poking the snake, and they may retaliate against you. Also, the people you tell may not believe you, because he has already painted you as crazy and vindictive.

My advice is that you do what is best for you. If speaking up will help your recovery, and you can do it safely, you may want to do it. But if you anticipate retaliation that will hurt you or your reputation, perhaps it’s best to move on. Of course, you can always change your mind later. Or, if another victim seeks you out, you can tell the truth.

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