Reply To: New here and hopeing for an end



I have known her for a long time, we both live in a very small town.
I don’t go to the bars or anywhere really for fear of crossing her path.
The longest I have went no contact with her is 3 years and that was just recently broken 4 months ago. I had asked her to not contact me again and
she didn’t. I got a text from my niece who she is friends with saying that she had been asking about me and felt she needed to talk. So.. I caved and I texted her.
The last 4 months felt great being with her. She wanted to go slowly so we did. We seen each other a few times during the week and every other weekend we spent time togeher. The sex, the passion all seemed to be as it was years ago. The one thing that bothered me was we would have a good weekend together and the next day she would have 2 or 3 very negitive quotes posted on Facebook. When i asked about the one that seemed directed at me she said it was because of her sister.

I pick wild flowers for her everyday, when I can’t see her to give them to her I sent her a picture of them. I am also a blacksmith and made her rose’s from steel so they would last forever. She had photos of the roses and the wild flowers on her Facebook page. Last week, she was away with her son. I missed her, went to her FB page hoping she posted photos of them. Well, all of the photos of the flowers were gone. Anything that had anything to do with me was gone. I sent her a text early sat morning asking what was up her removing the photos. She went postal on me, saying she couldnt believe I would start something with her while she was with her son and that she often removed photos and replaced them. So.. ok forget it then but it didn’t stop there. She started to rant that I was pushing her into a relationship when honest to god I had not done anything of the sort. She wouldnt talk to me until this Monday and it was
just a huge fight over this idea of me pushing her somehow. The person I was talking to was not the person I had seen the week before. She was outraged and I could not reason with her over anything. When I asked for an example of how I was pushing her she had none, only that she felt I was and said she wanted time alone. I know her, I know that voice. Time alone to her means time alone with the new guy she found. I pretty much begged her not to do this again and that got turned into me not caring about what she felt. We have not spoke since, It’s torn my dam heart out, I think this time worse than any before. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat and if do dose off I wake up in anger.
Weather it’s rational or not, I contacted a real-estate and I am listing my 2 homes and land. I have lived and worked here my entire life but there is an over whelming want to just leave. I know it is my fault for even trying with her. We have a ten year past, she’s been in my mind since the day I met her and I have not been able to have a relationship with an other women. I tried and felt nothing for them. I feel as if somehow her sickness has been passed into me, like I can’t love anyone but her.
Sorry so lengthy

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