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Reply To: The struggle of No Contact

#46115

Jan7
Participant

Uwfrog, 🎉Congratulations to you too on imposing the no contact rule!!🎉

It’s amazing once you are aware that sociopaths exist, and that you have been in a relationship with one, and you impose the no contact rule your body, mind & spirit release the stress and starts to calm down and YES!! Your sanity returns!! But most importantly you see that you were living in craziville with a crazy person.

The original term for sociopath was “morally insane”…that to me says everything about their mindset. Once you leave you realize you were living in an insane asylum. So glad you are free & out in the free world & mindset again!!

My advise to you about the “bak and forth of being in contact” is instead of talking with him come here and vent your thoughts or vent them on a piece of paper, in a journal but not with him.

He does not care how you feel…why? because his brain does not function in the emotional region. SO you can bang your head on the wall trying to get him to understand your feelings…and he simply will laugh at you. Dont get stuck in the mindset that he will change, he will never change, he will do the same abuse to his next victim just like he did to you & his victim before you.

He wont block your number because one day he will come back into your life to create more chaos, drama & distraction. You are right now just on his back burner…when he needs money, a place to stay, sex, etc he will come back and love bomb you.

Do you really want him to love bomb you only to destroy you again??

Why wont you block his number?

Because you still remember the lovebombig stage. You still have hope that he will “change”….he wont…what you see now is what you will always get = broken heart & a broken sprit.

Just try to block him for a few weeks. This will give you some POWER and Control back in your court that you dont need him. That you dont want him in your life again.

You state:

If nothing else, i can now say that i know how people get entrapped with these disordered individuals. really anybody with a good heart is a prime target for them. we just need to be vigilant and watch for the signs.

Yes. I was married so there is another layer of being/feelign trapped. You hear “Marriage is hard work, you need to work on your marriage”….AHH NO…more like HELL NO…there is a point that you say this marriage is not fixable, this person is not fixable…this marriage was a failure before it even started.

For you, you can say your relationship with this guy was a failure before it even started, not because of you but because of his personality disorder. He will fail at EVERY relationship he will ever have…romantic, family, friends…ALL of his relationship will fail.

I would recommend you google:

“Oprah Gavin Debecker you tube” and watch that video on listening to your gut.

Your GUT ALARM was blaring the second you met him. And it has been going off ever sense. Listen to your gut. Listen to your mind & body when you have been around him in the past & now when you really think about his bad behavior. Your gut reaction (brain processing his facial expressions & body language) the second we meet everyone.

(Gavin Debunkers book is a must read called The Gift of Fear, your library may have it)

Wishing you all the best! Stay strong & keep the no contact in tact!! YOU CAN DO IT…set yourself free for good…and when you are healed find a good guy who is kind, loving, respectful…but most importantly NORMAL. 💜😊


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