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Reply To: Were they sociopaths?Should I be afraid?

#46325

claudette
Participant

Jan7 thank you so much for your reply! You gave me so much strength…I tried to get me some sleep the last 2-3 days but I hardly managed to. Either I wake up stressed in the middle of the night either I wake up too early, cannot sleep again and feel exhausted every day. I am also scared that my cellphone is going to ring at any time and it will be one of them.I cannot breathe properly.
I tried to find an edocrinologist but this week she’s on vacation, I have to wait until the next.
I haven’t checked my laptop because I don’t have the money but I’m keeping it closed and I’m not using it. I don’t know what he has put in there but one friend told me “if he didn’t pup tnaything in your cellphone then possibly he didn’t put to your laptop either”. It makes sense but I won’t use it until I get the money to check or replace it.
I agree with you that this guy seems to be very high on the sociopath scale of manipulation & coercion. I also think your guess that “he has sucked many many people into this con game by using his wife as the front person to do the dirty work” couldn’t be more right. At least that is what they did to me!!!Was I their first and only victim? I don’t think so. They are almost 50 years old and they’ve been together for nearly 20 years.
Probably they would ask to borrow money from me. I don’t know if I would have lent them. I mean, I’m not rich but if I waw ever going to lend money, it could be to somebody who really needs it not to somebody who buys jewellery, food in restaurants, goes vacation etc.
I’ve already thought that they wanted sex from me. My brother thinks that the rape scenario was very likely. Oh God even the thought of that is horrible, awful, nightmare!!!
One extra clue on this – I don’t know if you will find it relative or not: Near the ending of April her, I and some students went an educational 3-day trip. We were staying in a hotel, we had separate rooms. The first day, we had one hour’s rest between 4 and 5 pm because the afternoon schedule was full. I told her “I’m going to my room to rest”, she told me “Please come to my room, we’ll sleep together”, I told her “I don’t feel comfortable, I want to sleep by myself”, she kept pressuring me but with a smile:”oh please,please,please,come to my room” I told her “You’re used to sleeping with somebody because you’re married but I’m usde to sleeping alone” and she kept going “Please,please etc.” until (guess what?)I gave in. I didn’t want it but wasn’t scared though: it was a bussiness trip, it was daylight, all the near rooms were full of our students. I went, I didn’t sleep of course because I wasn’t able to, her husband called her on skype to check her room and said that “the hotel was fine”, students were knocking our door all the time until time passed and we had to get ready for the afternoon schedule. And then, right in front of my eyes, she changed her underwear (which was a string by the way) in front of me. Her genitals were covered by her t-shirt but she did this right in front of me even though the bathroom was right there!!!Of course I felt uncomfortable and turned my head the other side. Do you find this Ok; I’m 36 years old and no woman has ever done this in front of me! And I haven’t done it either!!!Do you think she intended to provoke me?or that she didn’t care and it’s just an awful habit of her?
She’s certainly under his mind control and that’s why I’m afraid of him even though he does not work with us.
This part of your reply

Right now please remember you do NOT have to be nice to this woman at work. You just have to be business like at your work place. That is a big difference. You owe this woman NOTHING. So reach the LOW CONTACT RULE and follow it. This means you do NOT talk to her. You avoid her. If she wants to have a conversation with you, simply say I’m busy now. Keep it simple when addressing her if she attempts to talk with you. Do NOT talk to her alone. Dont get sucked back into their con game.

helped me tremendously!!! Just one question on this: Somebody suggested that if she calls me I should send an sms like “I cannot talk, send an sms or an email if it is something bussiness related” so as to prove that I was available for job issues. She already told the supervisor higher than her that she couldn’t reach me on a Saturday for a job issue (this was a lie, there wasn’t any job issue, she wanted to hoover me). Do you find this sms a good idea or does it contradict with the no contact rule at not working hours??What do you think on this?

If she is under her husbands brain washing she will be reporting back to him and he will be giving her ways to manipulate you. So just simply walk away from her. Do NOT get in an argument with her. Just say you are business & walk away.

That is what she did with him. I saw it with my eyes, heard it with my ears. She was reporting back to him everything and he told her what to do… I’m sure he has already given her an awful plan about me. When you say “Just say you are business” what do you mean? (sorry english isn’t my native) to tell her “I’m here in order to work,I don’t talk about anything except bussiness” or “you’re my boss not my friend”?

Just like a kid in the grocery store screaming for cookies & the parents just give in out of embarrassment or being tired.

This is it. That’s why I ended up giving them my cellphone and my laptop.

I bought already the Gift of Fear,thank you so much!
Your last advice:

Keep yourself busy so that you dont think about these two during your summer break. If you keep thinking about them it will lead to a habit. And this is what sociopaths want. So be mindful to think of other things & to read other things i.e. hobbies or your interest.

was marvellous. I’m already trying but obsessive thoughts come uninvited to my mind! Oh God I want my peace of mind back!!!
Thank you for everything Jan7. God bless you.


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