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Reply To: I want to talk to his recent ex, for validation

#46341

Jan7
Participant

Hi Jaybird, sending you huge hugs!! 💜💜🌺💜

I’m with Donna about talking to this ex. It will give you some closure, but, most importantly you see that the Lovebombing, things & words he used with you are almost mimicked with her. This is what sociopaths do…if their conning worked with one target, they will do the same con game with the next. This will gives you a great insight into his mindset & con game.

When I first left my ex h, found out he was a sociopath from a astute counselor, I went to my local abuse center for counseling at the same time & also their free women group sessions. The Women group meetings were eye opening for me & I think for everyone there also. There were about 40 other abused women in the group. 80% had a very similar story to mine.

It was shocking. I knew in my marriage I was being abused emotional, mentally, verbally & sometimes physical but when you are in the tornado their behavior is your new “normal”. So it’s difficult to see that you are being abused clearly. But, at this meeting I could see these other woman were being abused. And this was a huge eye opening. I could see they were being abused but had confusion about me being abused I think talking with your ex’s ex gf would be very eye opening for you & give you clearity. And this might just be the moment that you slam the door on your ex for good.

Just be kind to yourself during this process & also to his ex gf. She is also a victim. So treat her as such and dont get upset with her. Keep the focus on him and his horrible con game & abuse.

Please also know that ALL sociopaths are narcissist, but not all narcissist are sociopath. So if this guy is a Sociopath, he is also a narcissist. I have also read that these types have not one personality disorder but several. SO the person who thinks he is bi-polor is probably right also. He could be a Sociopath narcissist with bi-polor traits etc.

Either way he is a guy you want to SLAM the door shut on ASAP & follow the No contact rule fully. If you want to look at Pinterest or any other social media think about opening a fake email then a fake say Pinterest account etc. Delete all your email accounts and only give your email address to trusted family & friends.

With regards to talking with this other victim. You BOTH need to be very vigilant about this guy as he could become violent with both of you. SO you both should set ground rules such as NOT telling him that you are talking with each other. This way you both are protected.

Wishing you all the best!! 💜🌺🌺


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