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Hi Nmbr5, my heart aches for you, reading your post. I hear your shock, sadness & anger emotions in your post. All normal responses when coming out of a sociopathic abusive relationship. 💜

I want you to know, that the fact that you had the courage to post here at LF & that you posted with the terms “Processing Reality”…you ARE making great steps to come to terms with the nightmare you have been dealing with. Coming to terms only leads you to healing. You stepped into reality the day you looked in his phone & found the truth. You also, stepped into reality when you researched the net for answers leading you to this wonderful site full of information to heal. 🌺

You were conned by a very covert & manipulative sociopath. I also wonder if his girlfriend is in on his con game. The fact that she said she did not know him after you had read their text messages to each other, makes you believe that they are running a con game in a foreign country on many individuals to make their living.

I’m so sorry that you have been conned out of $7,000. This is shocking to discover, but also as equally shocking is the fact that the whole romantic relationship with him was a sham from the beginning is hard to deal with. When I finally found out from a counselor after I left my then husband (a sociopath, now ex h) I felt like my head was going to exploded. Stepping out of denial & into reality is utter heart wrenching. To be conned from day one is a heart ache, to let your guard down & let someone see your vulnerability and be taken advantage of is beyond words to express.

Some terms to look up here at love fraud (upper right corner top) & on the net:

Pathological lying
sociopath pity play (he did this day one)
No contact rule

My ex husband did the same thing regarding money. First he gave me a “pity play manipulation” story. Then he asked for money. Which I was angry at but did not express this to him. He conned me out of my hard earned pay check everyone day. This is what they all do.

Do I think this guy has more victims??? ABSOLUTELY YES!!

My suggestion is to go to the FBI and file a report on him. They deal with con artist. And ask them for a further detail report on this individual. In addition ask them what you can do for your safety = getting him deported from your country = ask to remain anonymous in the report for your safety.

Also have them do a back ground check on his “girlfriend”.

With time hon, you will realize that you never loved him, he only conned you into believing this, but your true feelings with time will percolate up & you will realize that he gave off a lot of red flags from the second you met him. This guy stepped over every boundary you set…he just moved into your home. This is NOT love..this is him not caring how you felt about him…he had an agenda = save money on living expense & con you out of money. My ex did the same. I never loved him. I know this. He just manipulated me to date him, move in with him, and marry him.

I would suggest that you buy Donna’s book Lovefraud 10 signs you are dating a sociopath (see the Book store tab top of LOvefruad) also there are other books up there to help you understand this guy’s con game so that you are not sucked into another narcissistic or sociopathic abusive relationship. On the home page Donna has listed how to heal in a “Yellow box”…look at this also.

Keep posting here to vent & ask question. It realize does help to clear your mind & heal.


Wishing you all the best!! 🌺

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