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Reply To: Consistent Dreams / Nightmares of Ex

#46636

slimone
Participant

allison123,

YES, yes, yes….this is very normal, though extremely difficult to go through. I had SO many dreams. Some good, some very scary. All of them disrupted by sleep.

I think there is much to process with the end of these types of relationships- especially when we ALSO wake up to the fact of people with personality disorders. The betrayal of our love, and the revelation of their incapacity, is too much for us to process on a conscious level. So our subconscious helps us along at night.

It makes for VERY interrupted sleep though, doesn’t it? And it is exhausting and frustrating, when all you really want is to get AWAY from the pain and yearning. But I found there was no getting away, only GOING THROUGH.

I felt angry that even my sleep was being taken from me. I honestly felt like I got ZERO respite from my feelings for quite awhile.

OK. Sounds bad. Is bad. BUT…it will get better. You can heal from this and totally end up in a MUCH better place with yourself. It is a step by step, day by day thing. One foot in front of the other and you walk out of the burning forest and into a new landscape. One you can’t imagine while you’re feeling all the pain.

While you are trudging through this wildfire take care of yourself, BETTER than you EVER have in your whole life. LOVE yourself AS MUCH as you possibly can. Treat yourself like a hurting child. Do anything that is good for you, as much as you can.

For me the terror of this kind of relationship was a huge lesson in caring about me, my life, my future, my present, my hopes and dreams….everything. I never quite understood how little I had actually cared about my own existence, until I went through this healing process.

I am glad you keep coming back to Lovefraud. If you are so inclined, and like to read, start the series of articles by Kathleen Hawk that can be found on this website. I found her approach very helpful, even if I wasn’t yet at that place she was.

Take care, really take care….Slim


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