Reply To: Consistent Dreams / Nightmares of Ex

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HI Allison,
Thank You for sharing. I am going through the same thing but I was married 25 yrs in August and just filed for divorce finally after thinking about it for 14 yrs. I waited this long primarily for the kids to grow up and wait for the 4th to go to college. It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do because my emotions were all over the place and the confusion after being married to him for 25 yrs was very prevalent. But instead of focusing on my emotions, I tried to focus on the facts of what he did to me ..The emotionally abusive behaviour, the disregard , the disrespect and the ultimate breaking down of my self worth.
Yet , now 3 weeks after I have filed , I found myself reminiscing last night of ” the good times” and missing them terribly and to the point I was smelling his clothes in his closet because I missed him at that point thinking of the good times and when he treated me nicely.
The confusion is still here even though I filed and I am wondering why I am still so torn and wondering if I did the right thing. I am getting depressed and sad about it. I thought that after all of this time I would be relieved and happy that I filed but I am not. I should say that we still live together and he is trying to act like father of the year and man of the year in front of the kids now which lays with my psyche, even though I know its an act. Its really just crazy that I can still be influenced by him and I appear to be the only one suffering still. I hope it gets better soon. I guess it just takes time and we have to keep moving forward

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