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Reply To: Made a mistake & met up with my ex…

#46733

slimone
Participant

allison123,

She took your meeting as the perfect opportunity to hurt you again, all the while pretending like she was just being an upbeat, practical minded, life-loving ex. This is exactly how they mess with us. We feel like we are over-reactionary and negative, while for them everything is perfect.

It is ‘perfect’ for her because she has no heart. She has no ability to suffer (or to love). There is NO shame, no empathy, no remorse, no looking back, never any regrets. And though this sounds, on the surface, to be the advantageous position, it is really just a place of lack.

The last one of these sorts that I dated also moved on with complete ease, inviting me to be one of his BFF’s. I never answered or entertained that idea, though I craved his love and attention, and couldn’t (at the time) understand how he could be so nonchalant after a mere week. It was incredibly painful to witness how I meant absolutely nothing to him, when I was ready to give him a life long commitment.

They know they are hurting us, they just have NO IDEA what it feels like, so they don’t care one bit. They just see us as weak and vulnerable and disadvantaged; and they are GLAD they are not us.

IF you can take a step back and depersonalize this. Just take yourself out of the equation for a few seconds. You can see this is totally about them. Every. Single. Second. It is never about anyone else, as it CANNOT be, because they cannot see things from any perspective but their own. They cannot comprehend the needs of other living things. They can intellectualize it, pretend to, and get better at mimicking what to do in any situation. They may get better at mimicking, the older they get.

But they are NEVER actually able to understand another being. They can never respond with sincerity. It is all like memorizing the alphabet for them. This is why they simply feel no emotional consequences for things that really hurt the rest of us.

I am sorry she made you feel rotten. Please take that information and let it be real for you. You are not ‘weak’ and ‘too sensitive’. She is not ‘happy’ and ‘moving on’. She is simply personality disordered, and good at surviving.


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