Reply To: I'm not just a victim. I was an accessory!



Carrie’s dtr, I find this SO relatable. You explained your role well, and we all fall into some level of complicity. It’s just that for some of us this complicity goes on for a longer period of time, and is more complex.

When I was younger and had disordered friends I was complicit, but unconscious of it. Then, when I had my last disordered relationship I went through the same awakening that you did, and I could see the lies I told myself to cover for all of their lies. I could see that I was loyal to a fault, and always the helper and fixer. I felt a lot of shame that I had behaved so terribly. It took time to forgive myself.

Boy, when you have been conditioned by your mother or father, or other close family member, to be in the sociopathic supporting role, it is HARD to break the pattern!

Good for you that you have also had your moment of personal awakening.


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