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Reply To: I'm not just a victim. I was an accessory!

#46995

Jan7
Participant

Carrie’s daughter, glad that you had the courage to post here! This is part of the healing process. Please know that she manipulated you to stand by her & to cover for her. ALL sociopaths do this. She conditioned you to protect her. The more people called her out the more you were trained to protect her (cover for her). YES, YOU WERE A VICTIM OF A SOCIOPATH’S CUNNINGNESS & MANIPULATION!!

The first time I caught my ex h lying (then just dating a few weeks) was at a dinner party with his friends who I had just met that night. He sat at the table and lied and then said something like “ya, she was there too” (meaning me). Yes, I was there but that is NOT what happened.

I was so flabergasted first by his lying and second by him sucking me into his lie. I did not know what to do. I remember fuming at table by his lying and mad at myself for not speaking up right then & there. But I did not want to cause a bad night for the host. So I sat there & said nothing. That is EXACTLY what he wanted!! That night, looking back was a pivotal moment for him to manipulate me over & over again.

This person you are speaking of has been sucking people into her con game since she was a child. YOU are not the only person she used to cover for her!! Know this.

Regret is one of the hardest steps in healing. I think for all of us. Regret that you invited them into your life, regret that you did not cut them out quickly when we saw their behavior from day one & each time afterwards, regret that it took us so long to finally see that they were evil, regret in your part of them hurting others by covering for them & not speaking up.

One of the things that all of us did when allowing the sociopaths to stay in our lives was use “projection”….we were projecting OUR beliefs & morals on to them:

“they didn’t mean it”…”they feel bad or their behavior towards others”…NO THEY DONT FEEL BAD & YES THEY DID MEAN IT…but we are the types that would immediately feel bad if we harmed someone or hurt their feelings. we believe all people feel this way. But we now know that sociopaths are not this way!!

Our belief systems are different then theirs.

Glad you followed the no contact rule. That is the only way to heal & thrive again. I think you have made incredible strives to see the truth…and the truth will set you free. You cant go back in time, but going forward you can speak up & you can take people at face value the second you meet them or the instant they do something to harm others including you. Sociopath using manipulations, cunning, covert behavior etc. This sociopath used all of these tactics on you.

You were not educated, no of us were. We are all the type of follow society rules, to believe everyone have goodness in them. know we know this is not true.

I like this quote: “WHEN YOU KNOW BETTER, YOU DO BETTER!!”

Be proud of yourself for setting you & your daughter free from this evil sociopath!! You surviving a evil sociopath!! 💪

You are free to soar now!! 💜💜💜

  • This reply was modified 3 days, 2 hours ago by  Jan7.
  • This reply was modified 3 days, 2 hours ago by  Jan7.
  • This reply was modified 3 days, 2 hours ago by  Jan7.

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