Reply To: I'm not just a victim. I was an accessory!



Carrie’s dtr,

I read what you wrote and could see clarity, not coldness. I understand that even though we get clarity it doesn’t mean we don’t have any feelings about the person and situation. I also was devastated by the losses I endured. It is heartbreaking and awful, even when we are (finally) aware of the truth of it all.

It changes our world, our beliefs, and our view about what it means to be human. It is a kind of loss of innocence that is never regained. We can no longer look at things the way we used to.

But it is also a gain. We gain insight, ability, and strength. We gain the ability to make and keep new, healthy, enriching relationships. We gain the ability to help other people going through a similar hell. We gain a kind of peace and security with ourselves, knowing we can keep ourselves safe(r), because we understand the dangers. Awareness is a two edged sword, that is both uplifting and scary. For me, with time, it has become increasingly uplifting; the fear and sadness have waned.

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