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Reply To: Anyone deal with depression after the break up & no contact period?

#47225

slimone
Participant

sbff8,

I hear you. Sometimes exposing them opens up a whole can of worms (snakes in these cases), and we end up paying a price. I exposed the man I knew, but he didn’t know it was me, and I got away unscathed. He lost some admirers and a job. But this was just a little temporary setback for him. Truth is most of these types don’t get ‘caught’ because they don’t do anything illegal, and, technically, that is the only thing you pay a price for in our culture.

He may pay some ‘price’ off and on. But I am guessing, just like the sociopath I knew, he will just brush himself off and get back to the business of using other people. Since they feel no shame, worry, remorse, or regret, it is easy for them to recover and start up with the next victim.

After awhile you get to the point where you truly do not care. Really. I sometimes look at the guy’s Instagram that I knew (he also spread some awful lies about what happened between us). I have zero feelings when I do (it’s been nearly 10 years). He is still up to the same old stuff, and his social media makes him look like his life is AMAZING, better than ever!, THE BEST! Whatever. I feel sorry for the woman he has on the line. She will learn.

This is totally off topic, but it IS interesting to see ideas, books, beliefs, and other stuff, that he literally lifted out of my life and is now applying to his own. His social media, even after all these years, is composed with his audience in mind. And part of that audience is all of us who he has harmed. I am sure he believes we are all hanging on his every photo, trip, meal, etc.

I say this because he posts images and dialogue that are expressly directed at our relationship. EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME. He still hopes I will read these things and be hurt.

If I had seen this stuff years ago, when I was strictly NO CONTACT, I would have been crushed and devastated. Now it is ridiculous to see. Really? After all this time you are still trying to hurt the people you already hurt?

So, one of the points here is that they never stop. Not really. They are always in a perpetual abuse cycle, even if it only exists in their own mind. They HAVE to win, to come out ‘on top’, to have the last word and action. They keep us alive inside themselves.

We don’t have this compulsion. This means once you get over the hurt and confusion you will simply put him, and this whole mess, in your past. You will move on and be unconcerned about him.

We get the gift of HEALING and EVOLVING. This is truly The Best, Greatest, Most Awesome thing about being a non-disordered person.


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