Reply To: Divorcing my sociopath




It is interesting that this is the name you have chosen to represent you: My Own Person.

Your story represents a different name: I am Not Myself.

This is because you have suffered the abuse and brainwashing of a personality disordered person. And by suffering this repeated cruelty and trauma you have ceased to be your own person. You are merely who he wants you to be, and no longer yourself.

It is telling that you have called yourself Myownperson, and reveals that you know what you need to be again. That you need to reclaim your life, stop his abuse and lies, and re-engage in reality.

What he has to offer is a fantasy. A fantasy of husband, parent, lover. He is, obviously, none of those things. Everything you write confirms he is not. Everything you write confirms that these are the fantasies and promises he provides you to make you who he wants you to be: devoted, longing, devastated, long-suffering, totally focused on him and his needs, nothing without him.

See the theme? HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM. There is NO ROOM for you, or anyone. None.

Please, start talking back to the person he has turned you into. Tell her that she doesn’t know what love is, if she thinks he is the love of her life. Tell her that she is letting herself be betrayed and humiliated, for an hour of tender love making. Tell her you want to live in the real world, with caring friends: in peace. Tell her she has been fooled, over and over again, and that YOU are going to help her STOP the madness, and start to heal. That YOU can provide her with a better life, full of promise and kindness.

She is a one dimensional prop, the other side of ‘his coin’, that compliments his mental illness. YOU are not. You are real. Take back your realness.

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