By | November 7, 2012 128 Comments

Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair charged with sex abuse and threats

A female Army captain testified against her former superior, Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair of the 82nd Airborne Division, detailing how he abused and  tried to control her. Prosecutors say Sinclair was involved with five different women. Lovefraud readers will recognize the descriptions of his behavior.

Jeffrey Sinclair Trial: Sex Crime Victim Says U.S. Army General Threatened To Kill Her, on

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Ox Drover

I read this article today and I was gobsmacked that a general this high was being prosecuted. They have so much power when they reach this level that they think and in some ways are “godlike”

I remember when that Canadian military commander was prosecuted and how he had lived this double life for decades….I am betting this guy has too. The evidence against him must have been a bunch better than “she said” or even “She-s” (plural) said.

Yes, the description of his behavior does sound like he is very high in P traits….assuming he is “guilty” of course. Must give him the benefit of the doubt before he is convicted. He won’t have as much chance in a military court as he would in a civilian one of getting off or getting out any time soon when he is convicted.


What struck me was the battered woman/Stockholm syndrome characteristics of the woman making the claims.

Part of her still loves him. Her nickname for him was Mr. Sexy Pants.

I remember feeling that way about my son’s P father. I rationalized it that it was his behavior that I didn’t like. I still cared about him because he was a child of God, flawed at times, but worthy of love, understanding, and compassion.

That’s was my Al-Anon training coming through, i.e., you can love the person, but hate the behavior. (For the record, this helped me distance myself from the situation and put it into perspective, but I also feel it is a short-coming of Al-Anon’s since it came with the presumption that everybody is born good. I no longer feel that way knowing what I now know about Ps.)

We had an Enforcement of Litigant’s Rights hearing today. It was rushed and ended abruptly because it was held in NJ where Hurricane Sandy hit the hardest (they had to create a makeshift courtroom) and then the nor’easter starting increasing in intesity. You could hear the fear in their voices. They wanted to get out of there fast.

We’re going back. There was lots of unfinished business.

Daddy Dearest was particulary nasty and ugly today. Vicious would be a good word, too. Not his typical charming P self. Could be because he lost the mayoral race yesterday. Awww.

My point regarding this article is that in the beginning, I was charmed by this P and could rationalize that I hated the behavior but still loved him. Never would I have imagined the man that I heard in the hearing today. The man I was emotionally involved with could never possibly anything like the man I heard in court today. Absolutely not this man.

Now, I see him for exactly what he is. I am very grateful that I have been educated in psychopathy and Ps because he fits the model perfectly. No rose-colored glasses on me. He is being investigated for SSDI fraud. He doesn’t know that yet, but he’ll find out because I will present a letter from the Senator’s office at the next hearing.

And, the courts being the courts, the judge let him claim that he has always provided health insurance non-stop for the past 20 years. He had a letter from his insurance broker stating that, which is really interesting since our son is only 19. But I couldn’t talk about what he did last year. What? How do you counter his claim about his past behavior if you can’t talk about the past?

She did order that this must go through interstate agencies next time. This means I’ll get legal representation.

Getting back to the woman and the Mr. Sexy Pants nickname, because of the lack of education most people have about these dynamics, they will mistakenly take what she said and that nickname as proof that she was not abused. Lookie! She’s lovey-dovey with him.

They do NOT prove that she was not abused. They prove how confused her thinking became trying to survive what she was going through. They are both part of the sick dynamic.

That would probably surprise and shock most people. I can hear the comments, “But I thought that proved that she loved him!”

If I knew anything about how I felt about Daddy Dearest after today’s hearing, it is the feeling that I have for him does not come anywhere close to being love.


pretty familiar. I would be inclined to get in touch with her on behalf of this site or send her a copy of donnas book.

yes, she is trauma bonded. It’s hard for people to understand if they haven’t studied it. Even feeling the trauma bond doesn’t explain the concept.


Donna, thank you for posting this awful story.

I was somewhat triggered because the first exspath was similar in his behaviors and assertions. Of course, he was no general, but he was former military and was one of those seriously “gung-HO” types that asserted that only someone who was military was a “real man.” He often alluded to having killed someone. He never confirmed this, but he also never denied it, either.

The forced sex is one of those things that only a survivor of an abusive relationship can “understand.” Yeah, we know the terminology, but it’s very difficult to “identify” with the victim unless one has experienced it, themselves. And, I am certain that the testifying captain suffered RE-victimization and victim-blame while testifying. I hope that she has a good, strong counselor to help her process that horrible experience. She obviously is still suffering from her experiences and I can identify with her, 100%. When I left the first exspath, I STILL felt guilty and shame that I was the cause of the marital collapse.

EUGH…..I hope they nail Sinclair’s balls to the wall for his abuse of power!

Brightest blessings

Ox Drover

Petraeus Steps Down as C.I.A. Chief, Saying He Had Affair
Published: November 9, 2012

Isn’t it interesting that Petraeus resigns just as this other general is prosecuted? Wonder how that coincidence happened?


Know what my first reaction was when I read that?

We’re making an impact! They’re getting the message!! They know that people do not approve of this behavior and that there will be consequences.

Was blown away by the announcement.

Am wondering if that has any overlap to what happened with the prostitutes in South American and the guys on detail protecting the President.


I heard it was because of Benghazi.


MSM is reporting now that the affair was with his biographer, who was embedded with him in Afghanistan for a year. She is married, too, and is being investigated by the FBI for improperly trying to access his e-mails that may have contained classified info. After reading more about them, they both seem pretty spathy.

Sexual indiscretions are a prime way for enemies/spies to get info through blackmail or a plant. Incredibly arrogant of him to accept the nomination to CIA Director knowing that and for supposedly starting the affair while he was active duty with the same security clearance stipulations. Nevermind that he was responsible for upholding military law and relieved others of their duties for doing the same thing he did.

He built his career and reputation on “honor”. Typical spath, imo.

Lockheed Martin also fired their CEO today for an affair with a subordinate. Maybe we’ll get lucky and ethics and morals will become the new rage lol.


Is anybody else getting the feeling that there must be a whole lot more to the Petraeus story that he simply had an affair?

And why step down AFTER it is over? He resigned after it ended? It doesn’t sound like he’s that concerned that he was unfaithful. He’s owning up to it before she exposes what he did? Nah, I don’t think that’s enough.

This feels like this might be stopping something much worse that he knows about that he doesn’t want to come to light.

I can’t shake the feeling that there are a lot more pieces to this puzzle that we haven’t heard about yet.

I think the spath here is the biographer. Patraeus is simply a narcissist –the spath’s favorite food.

Re Lockheed’s CEO and the trend: BBC’s CEO also stepped down for allowing a false story about child abuse.
Must be an epidemic.

as my spath used to say (mimicking one of his minions), “Ya think?”

We are never being told the whole story. You can count on that.



I think you’re right that it’s the biographer that’s the spath and Petraeus is a plain old narcissist. She seems to have latched onto him to add to her “accomplishments.” She seems so accomplished on her own, but while reading more about her, SPATH seems to be dwelling under the shiny surface lol.


Petraeus didn’t come forward on his own. His affair was discovered by the FBI when they were investigating threatening e-mails to another woman that appear to have come from his biographer. His having an affair is a security risk and his mindset means he could be a risk for succumbing to a plant or blackmail. It also means that while he was a General, he violated military law and she is also technically a subordinate of his, because she is an Army reservist. No doubt there is a lot more that he doesn’t want to come out.


I am thinking that the Petraeus affair is a sociopath meets narcissist, or even two sociopaths met – that Petraeus is the S. as is common with powerful men.

A military family learns to live with half a man. The children have half a daddy. Petraeus married the daughter of a general; Holly would have been conditioned to endure the limits of a marriage with a general. And Petraeus could not have married a better woman to jetison his career.

Ask me if I think this was Petraeus’ first affair? I think he used the guise of “helping” writers as his method to collect and test women before chosing.

Paula Broadwell even describes a time when she felt “tested” by General Petraeus. and she passed and got further intimate access to him. Her narcissism got fed.

as Christine points out, Petraeus did not have a moment of conscience and recommit himself to honor. HE WAS OUTED, or about to be. B/c Paula got bitchy and territorial and got vicious with the next woman. Why jealous over her? I don’t think Paula was wrong in knowing her lover was doing to the next woman what he’d done to Paula, the jealousy was REAL. She knew she was being replaced. The book was done, Paula was getting too possessive, time for Petraeus to move her out. Problem was, Paula fought to stay.

Do I think he was a masterful general. Yes. Do I think as a husband, father, and human being that he was slime. You betcha. Paula didn’t get her claws into him b/c he was weak. She was romanced and invited. He appealed to her narcissism and he got sloppy.

IMHO. And yes, I am waiting to hear if this had any relevance to the assassinations in Libya b/c that was a MAJOR F. U.

Katy, the mother of an intel analyst who says credible info was given to appropriate commanders and was ignored.

Ox Drover

I agree with several of the above opinions about this being a hook up between two disordered (on some level) people who eventually blew up in the classic “gasoline and fire” explosions when two disordered people connect. Especially when one is a powerful man and the other one is a “woman scorned” or pushed out for the newer model of honey-doo to move in.

Yep, he did not voluntarily submit to this outing, he was FOUND OUT and to me that means he is not the least bit sorry for anything but getting caught with his d#$K in his hand and his pants down around his ankles.


OxD…..ROTFLMAO!!!! You sure have a way with words! LMAO!!

Oh, those wonderful military brass……having been raised in the environment of brass, I knew many Officers that were genuinely honorable, and many who were absolute spaths. What could possibly be more of an aphrodisiac than military power and security clearance?! And, some of these people abuse their power to the Nth degree.


I am not surprised that Petraeus was having not one affair, but two or maybe even more. Kind of reminds me of what happened with me and the triangulation.

The Lockheed Martin deal is even more on comparison of what happened to me because Chris was cheating with a subordinate and she left the company…sound familiar?? A third party told on them and that’s how it came out. Now I have to wonder if the third party was another one of his girlfriends who got jealous??? I give huge applause to Lockheed Martin for swiftly getting rid of him…they didn’t mess around. My former company knows about it and keeps letting him get away with it. Very bad and sad. He is a huge liability for them and they are going to get into some big trouble because of him.

It never ends. Is anyone faithful? Everyone wonders why I never want to get married again.


I am faithful and loyal. It is the way God made me. So yes, I believe there are men made that way too. Not likely I will ever have a loving relationship with one b/c I am not attractive (down right fat and ugly but I have other qualities that make me worthy)…. and I am more than a little wary of new relationships. I’m skittish when people make alliances with others that I know are hostile to me, and the fear of betrayal when I am vulnerable looms large …. I am better to be friendly and enjoy others rather than expose myself, at least for now.

Katy, who is getting better year by year


Louise, people have had affairs since mankind walked upright and scrawled on cave walls with ochre and berry dye. But, what seems to be a trend is that it is acceptable and tolerable for people to conduct extramarital affairs – hence, “no-fault” divorce.

I believe that there ARE committed relationships out there, but they are becoming fewer and further between. Somewhere along the line, morality and ethics have been thrown by the wayside in lieu of hedonism and “tolerance” for every label that can be invented.

I will not only never marry, again, but I won’t even entertain a “meaningful relationshit” with anyone, EVER. I’m too farked up from this last exspath, and I’m spending the rest of MY valuable time and energy on ME.

Brightest blessings



Me, too, Katy…me, too. I understand.



I hear you! It’s crazy out there. No relationships for me either. I am better off without it.

Ox Drover

Truthy, you said:

“What could possibly be more of an aphrodisiac than military power and security clearance?! And, some of these people abuse their power to the Nth degree. ”

Power (and/or money) is indeed an aphrodisiac. Have you ever seen some POOR, POWERLESS, FAT, UGLY OLD GEEZER with some play boy bunny big boobed bimbo on his arm? Look at Anna Nichole Smith and her husband, he was nearly 100 and RICH and she was a bimbo but NOT dumb…she knew where the money was and he KNEW WHY she was with him and it wasn’t his good looks or the studly sex he provided.

I don’t have a problem with him “buying” himself a beautiful young wife with his money, it was HIS MONEY and he could do with it what he wanted as far as I am concerned. If he wanted to buy fine wine, fine art, or a roll in the hay with a young woman with huge boobs, soooo what? Now, if he had not been legally sane, then she would have been taking “advantage” of him, that’s a different story…

I personally wouldn’t buy some boy-toy if I was the richest woman in the world, simply because that’s not what I would value; purchased “love” isn’t “love” to me. But for those that are “into” that, it doesn’t hurt me and it is their money, so I think they can and should be able to spend it as they see fit.

People in high places or people who are rich, who are “attractive” to others seeking relationships with “people in high places” frequently fall into relationships outside of marriage. There is a lot of temptation there I think. But also, I think that people who are high in P traits do well in the military, legal profession, medical profession etc. so may not be up to resisting the temptations and staying faithful to a spouse.

50+ % of marriages end in divorce these days, and like what? 75% of SECOND marriages end in divorce.

So I think that fidelity isn’t all that “typical” in relationships these days, and I don’t think it EVER HAS BEEN….at least on the part of men. Men insisted that the women be faithful because they wanted to make sure that the children they raised were theirs, but they didn’t see a point in THEMSELVES being “one woman men.” History hasn’t changed much I don’t think, just the expectations of western women.



I couldn’t access the Wall Street Journal article (WSJ,) but I found this one on The New York Times.

I noted that she goes running with Lance Armstrong.

Below is her biography on her publisher’s website.

“Drawing upon her experience within the military and study of transformational leadership, Paula explains Petraeus’s thoughts on strategic leadership and provides inspirational anecdotes and insights for anyone—from CEOs to young lieutenants to women in conflict zones—facing leadership challenges in their respective fields.”


Thanks for providing those links. I was struck by the portrait of her/GenP in front of the flag. Her body language, she did a power play where you shake someones hand but keep you elbow bent so they move closer to you. And he has his hand around her back. This is intimate. Look at her chest, intruding into his personal space. I think she’s brazen, it was like a couples portrait. If you compare her photo with another service member, she is not arching her breast forward, she is putting distance between them, much more appropriate body language.

just an observation….


Without a doubt, Broadwell is extremely narcissistic. Just look at her. She is very beautiful. Not that all beautiful women are narcissistic of course! But you can tell she uses her beauty to get what she wants. She is obviously also very smart with all her accomplishments…Harvard, West Point, etc., etc. Most men are not going to turn down a chance at someone like her. Men are men, sorry. Especially a man in power. They think they can get away with it.

My exspath should be grateful I went to HIM with the written stuff that OW sent me instead of going and turning her in at work which would have led to him and all his wrongdoings. It would have been the exact same scenario as the General here. The OW put my ex spath in a very dangerous position when she was sending all that info to me.



Where did you see those photos? They weren’t in the links that I provided.


I read your article and must have linked to others b/c I read for a while and didn’t realize I left your link. I am still searching for those photos and will post when I find them The body language in the portrait would have bothered me as a wife, even before the affair came out. It was inappropriate; She was TOO close and TOO arching boobies in his space.




ah. Here’s the link to Broadwell photos, see the diff b/t posing for photos with Petraeus and posing with others.

Also see the photo of the “rival”. Clearly he has a type. No wonder Broadwell felt threatened. I think he was “moving on”, even if the new woman didn’t realize he was checkin her out, Broadwell did.


Where is the picture of the rival? I didn’t see that.


well, darn. missed where i saw that photo too.
her name is Jill Kelley and sorry, you’ll have to search. i set my computer to not save history and gosh, it seems to be doing it’s job…





It’s OK! 🙂

I’ll look her up.


In one of the articles I just read, it says that Broadwell broke up with the General last year after he was sworn in as CIA Director, but he wouldn’t leave her alone. It said he sent her THOUSANDS of emails…thousands???? He became obsessed with her and kept pursuing her. Whether any of this is true, I don’t know. Another article said that she was obsessed with him and was using him to advance her career. It also said she changed from someone everyone liked to someone obsessed with the General who was doing anything she could to get her hooks in him. Wow.

Yeah, the lady in Florida looks a little like Broadwell.


That article you refer to doesn’t make sense. If Broadwell (ironic she is named BROADwell) dumped him after he was sworn in as CIA director, then when/why did she get access to Petraeus email account and send emails to Mrs Kelley telling her to “back off my man”.

I think it way more likely it was Broadwell who did not go quietly in the night.


dances with moon dog weiners: you are my sunshine.



I agree. I thought that didn’t sound right either! If she wanted to break up, why was she harassing the other woman?? I have no idea where that came from…weird.

I think what is ironic is both of these women’s husbands are doctors.


It looks like Petraeus traded the wife in for a newer and younger model, although a woman with Broadwell’s looks and achievements would certainly be an attraction. That’s no excuse.

But being overseas and in a war zone – it must be easier to disassociate from the family that you have back home. I would think, though, that it might make other people remember it more.

Too bad she wasn’t as committed to her husband and family as she was to her career.


G1S, it does look like he was trading in his wife for a newer and younger model until he got warned it would be damaging to his reputation and job. Typical that he had no real regard for how his wife and her family helped him tremendously over the years. He thought he was a big kahuna who was entitled to someone so much better than his wife, and better to him meant a younger woman who constantly fawned over him and was willing to have sex with him. He never looked beyond that to see Broadwell’s real motive.

Broadwell under the shiny surface – what she deems important in her resume and biography says it all, imo. To her, the most important things are collecting degrees and status. She has spent the bulk of her time going to schools and sitting on committees without having the usual requisite real work experience in the right positions as backing. I think those of you on Lovefraud with experience around the military recognize the type. Petraeus being close to her launched her status much higher and that’s what was more important to her.

I admit I’m taking some glee in this blowing up for both of them, but I feel terrible for his and her families who they both totally disregarded.


I am feeling a sense of justice (ME! the one who says there is no such thing as justice!) b/c Petraeus and the BROADwell have been revealed for WHO THEY ARE. No chance of quietly divorcing his faithful supportive wife and going off with the new woman who was born shortly before he married his WIFE, the woman he romanced and whose family sure gave him an enormous start to his career.

And yet, I am sorry for his wife Holly that her family scandal has to be so public. Reporters have been so mean, saying she let herself go. Let’s be real! WIthout his ribbons and reputation that Holly helped him achieve, Mrs BROADwell would have never gave him a glance. HOW handsome is HE??? Geesh. Ragging on the INNOCENT wife? Blaming HER? B/c she’s no longer in her 30’s?? SO Typical of people and really really wrong!

Doesn’t change my wee feeling of satisfaction that SOMEBODY who was a Royal D and a BROADwell didn’t get away with dumping the loyal supportive wife. Good People WIN for once. Spath LOSER! TOWANDA by default!


Patraeus would have never divorced his wife.


Patraeus told the truth in his testamony about Bengasi and Obama did not like it. Even Ike had a mistress.


I think you are right, Petraeus would not divorce his wife. And I agree his wife is not likely to LEGALLY divorce him.

My husband refused to divorce me and made it so hard that it took YEARS to get through the process. He didn’t do it b/c he missed me or loved me or wanted to work things out. My husband had ulterior motives, namely he was stealing and hiding assets, as long as he remained married to me, I was controlled financially, with any income I made was available to be confiscated for his schemes.

Sometimes people stay married for reasons other than honor.


Broadwell is so ambitious and so athletic that it seems unnatural. Even she said that she would be in the top 5% of athletes at military school. I can’t imagine being that driven.

I agree with you, Christine. She does seem to be all about the resume.

So what’s all the about? Narcissism?

Petraeus’s wife let herself go? Have the reporters looked at other women her age who are post-menopause? (I always wonder about the age of the reporters when I read things like that.)

How about men at that age? What do most people look like?

I am so sick of women being held to an aesthetic standard.

I gave Barbara Bush credit for not giving in to plastic surgery and letting herself age naturally.


Your comments are right on. I have thought the same about the targets of sociopaths. We frequently suffer the consequences of stress, poor healthy, develop immune disorders. I am in my 50’s but my health issues have turned me into a very unattractive woman. Yet, just b/c I lost my looks, does that mean I’m no longer of value?

The same with Holly Petraeus, she’s not in her 30’s like Broadwell, and was never an athlete. Does that mean she’s not a good match for a military man? It is CHARACTER that matters most in a military spouse, not running a 6 min mile.

Just adding agreement to you, esp “sick of women being held to an aesthetic standard.” I didn’t like it done to me, and such as heck don’t like it done to this exemplary military wife.


It is possible to maintain our looks and our bodies past menopause, but it does take extreme work…it really does and most people just don’t have the time or energy for it.


Louise…..LMAO!!! I don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to give two shits about myself except in recovery, anymore. Maybe, at some point, I’ll start caring about how I look, but it ain’t going to be anytime soon.

And, if you notice the look in the author’s eyes……VERY cold, intense, and predatory. Dontcha think?



I agree. Oh, yeah…the author is definitely extremely narcissistic at best. She has issues I think.


You are right about looks.

I am one who has let my looks go. I remember when it started, I thought “what’s the point, i am so unwanted and worthless” that spending time on my hair or shopping for clothes or exercise… when I also needed to hide from people who were trying to injure me, harm me, and even murder me… I was an accomplishment if I took a shower. I WANTED to be someone that others stayed away from.

I’m better now, I LIKE my social time with people. But my immune disorders etc have taken their toll. I can be clean and neat, but attractive? I didn’t have the genes to begin with. But I will say, other people MATTER to me and I think that is more valuable than smooth skin.


KatyDid, same with me. And, people are talking about when I’m going to start dating, again? ROTFLMAO!!!!

(Snark, guffaw, snort) Uh………………………………no

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