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By | April 29, 2011 17 Comments

German heiress testifies about being conned

Susan Klatten, whose family owns large stakes in BMW and the chemical firm Altana, testified about the Swiss gigolo, Helg Sgarbi, who conned her out of £6.2 million. Sgarbi boasted at his trial that he could “read women like a map.”

Read I handed over £6.2m to gigolo out of love for him: Heiress tells how conman turned blackmailer on DailyMail.co.uk.

Story suggested by two Lovefraud readers.


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Ox Drover

You know, the thing is with guys like this, and unhappy women who have more money than they know what to do with is that the guys get greedy….which he obviously did.

Sometimes though ANY amount of money is more than they have so they will go after what they can get.

ANYTIME I think that people are after money from the “love interest” in their life there is a PROBLEM.

I was always pretty careful to neither take money/expensive gifts from a love interest or to give money/expensive gifts…I figure if someone has more money than I do, great…but I’m not after it, and if they have less than I have, that’s okay too…they still don’t need mine or me to support them.

I will loan or give small amounts of money to people who have had things happen that are unexpected, but people who don’t do what they need to do to help themselves, need to depend on someone else to support them, not me. And, vice versa.

That was why I have always paid back every cent I ever borrowed from family or friends, and expect the same. I never “loan” more than I can afford to lose, and I figure if they screw me out of it, then I can say it was “tuition” to the College of Hard Knocks…and they may have ripped me off for a couple of hundred bucks, but THEY lost a FRIEND. The last one who got to me got to me for $56 bucks….and I hope he thought it was worth it….because I haven’t spoken to him since and it is nearly 2 years….I do what I say I will do and I expect others to as well. Maybe that makes me hard nosed, but I haven’t been ripped off lately and I doubt I will be.

Not sure what motivted the “German Heiress” to speak out, but I think she just might be one of us. Despite her incredible wealth and priviledge, she got taken in by a con. Probably BECAUSE of . She would have been trained to be on the lookout for this kind of thing.. The previous kidnapping in her youth etc. And somehow, this guy convinced her…….

In any case, I admire her for speaking out. It must have been deeply painful to do so. May we all learn yet another lesson. Kudos to a spath survivor.

skylar

Hi Anitasee,
I just read this. It’s interesting that she was a kidnap victim and now this. It’s like there is a some kind of tatoo on our foreheads that says: spath victim.

she isn’t the only one who has been the victim of multiple spath attacks. Most of us are. Why?

It really gives credance to Donna’s book and her resolution, where she finds out that she has been re-living the same nightmare for several lifetimes. It’s like there is some cosmic web. the song ‘vasoline” comes to mind again.

one/joy_step_at_a_time

@spathinator – sweetie, the edict is: ‘don’t feed the spaths’, which of course can be extended to the under the bridge dwellers known as trolls. why o why did you try to engage? seriously. it was quite obvious what brought the silly one here.

Ox Drover

Of course she is “one of us” –if that means that she has become a victim of (multiple?) psychopaths….her money and social status does not protect against such —if anything it attracts the psychopaths like bees to sugar.

Think of how many “rich” people you know who have been surrounded by psychopaths taking advantage of them.

I am proud of this woman though for having the backbone to stand up in court and “confess” her part in allowing this to happen, to confess her affair and her part in giving him money to start with and so on. SHE GETS MY TOWANDA!!!!! AWARD for this month!

The other day I finally got the courage on the Aftermath show to say my real NAME, and admit “Hi, my name is Joyce and I’m a serial victim because I allowed people I loved to convince me of lies I wanted to hear even in the obvious evidence that those lies were not true.”

bluejay

skylar,

When I read the article about the German heiress having lived through a kidnapping attempt in her youth, then as a adult being targeted by the con-man, yes, for some reason we do attract these types of people. As a teenager (13 or 14 years of age), I was approached by a man, who stopped his car, asking me for directions, offering to give me a ride to my destination (he was tall, dark-haired, in his early to mid 30’s). I was helpful giving him directions, but said NO to the offer of a ride (thank God). This man, I now realize followed me along my route home. I stopped at a store for a snack, stepped outside, and there was the man, again asking me if I wanted a ride. I declined his offer, went on my way home and while I was walking on my street, I suddenly had the thought, “I wonder if he’s following me,” only to look to my left and there was the man, creeping along in his car, his passenger window down, asking me why I didn’t let him give me a lift – I moved into major panic mode, scanning my neighborhood (there was a man doing yard work on his front lawn), coming up with a plan of escape (if I had to scream, I wanted someone to hear and come to my aid), and sarcastically said “because I don’t know you.” Since I didn’t want this man to know where I lived, I figured that I would go up to the wrong house. The man looked at me, hesitated, and drove off. I put this incident out of my mind, only thinking about it in adulthood – today, I believe that if I had gotten into his car, I wouldn’t be here today, the worst would have happened to me. So, I think your theory about some survivors having multiple encounters by spaths is true. Why it happens, I don’t know, but it’s cause for concern – it’s scary.

skylar

Bluejay,
I’m so glad you had the presence of mind to act as you did. There seems to be more going on in the realm of predators and prey, which we are not exactly aware of. At least we are becoming more aware.

In my case, I think I attract predators like a magnet. But then I do something which confuses them. I’m not sure exactly what it is that I do but it’s hard to believe that it’s just luck over and over which has allowed my escape. Even the green river murderer apologized to me for propositioning me.

My spath wanted me dead and went through amazing contortions over the years to cripple me, but nothing seemed to work. He then planned to kill me and make it look like a suicide. I could sense it and I skipped town. In the end, just before I left him, he said, “I’m tired of your God-like behavior.” He also accused me once of being “arrogant”. And he also told the neighbors that I think I’m a saint.

I’ve finally figured out what all those statements meant. Ironically, he was referring to my overwhelming sense of responsibility, which is part of what attracts spaths, so why did it anger him? The accusation of arrogance and the God-like behavior are reference to the fact that he couldn’t make me cower. It infuriated him. I think that my parents’ martyr-complex programming actually protected me from his abuse.

czarinamom

To all, saw this and had to comment.

First, (my opinion) why is a married woman meeting this guy??? Trouble from the start. Also, con people are everywhere.

I looked back and found this email from someone I met on line some time ago – right off the bat – I figured CON MAN. Read it for yourself. My alarm bells went right off. No one writes like this…

Hello,

I do appreciate our chat on match and must say it is a great start to knowing you..I had a hectic day at work today this is because i was quite busy with my new project..

I really appreciate you responding to my im and i must say you have a lovely picture of which i know will have most men on the dating site head spinning and wanting to know who such a woman as you is…I appreciate you writing and must say i am such a lucky man to receive an im from you and hope this will not be the last off you since i will want us to keep up and know each other more..

A little about me..

I was born and raised in Kelowna a town in British Columbia in Canada to an American mom and Canadian dad who taught me and molded into becoming the man with good traditional values and great respect for people ( Both Males and Females) …I always have them at heart even tough they are both died and truly appreciate them for making me who i am….I am my late parents only child,widowed almost five (5) years now after thirteen (15) of marriage.. My late wife died of cancer and i hope to tell you more about her as we get along..I completed my education in York University ( Toronto,Canada ) with a Masters Degree..I like listening to Jazz, pop, classical, Caribbean, country,bluegrass,everything but not rap…I like Kenny Rogers,Anthony Hamilton and some other great singers. i feel they are much better than this present hip-hop singers..

I consider myself as an analytical thinker,philosopher, wise (maybe even a genius) confident but never boastful, a leader not a follower respectful and listens to the opinions of others…i always want to be an inspiration and mentor to my 12 year old son who’s birthday is fast approaching on the 27th April..I run my own business as a mineral broker and planing to build public a very huge Jewelery Company on my own in Miami Florida someday.

I saw the ski area in Michigan as a lovely one in a Magazine and i said to myself i will love to have my next ski there since it looks lovely and that will be my second trip to Michigan after my first business trip there late last November..

Past experiences:

We all have past experiences and they help build our future..I believe that there are no accidents in life, and that everything happens for a reason; although we may not understand it at the time but they help us become people we are now…
I have been in a relationship with only one woman a year after my wife passed away of which lasted for two years…We just didn’t match ( had no interest for my son ) and she is married now and lives in Chicago ( Illinois )

My Goals:

We both have goals of which my greatest goal now is :I am looking for a woman who is honest and willing to have a fun time and enjoy life with me forever.A Woman who is Sincere, honest, intelligent, ambitious, funny, mature, wise and patient.A woman who doesn’t hold grudges for long and will share and help her partner in any situation they find their selves..

Tell me more about your Job, How long have you being doing that job and have you had any previous Jobs?

How long have you been on online dating and what are those experience you have had? i am new to this online dating but i must say i have heard much stories about it and i am trying to take things slow and safe…

Looking back on your life, are there things you are most proud of? I am proud of being a successful and independent father who is responsible for the good upbringing of my son..

Tell me more about your day and yourself…Kindly attach some pictures of you and family to your next email as i will love to watch them all day long and admire your unique beauty..

Hope to hear from you soon..

Obliged

Thomas

Truthspeak

This may be an older post, but it’s particularly poignant for me, at this time.

I “met” the exspath online in a Chat room, MANY years ago when the technological revolution began before every human being had a computer device or smartphone in their pocket.

At the time, I was just exiting from an extraordinarily abusive marriage and I was quite vulnerable. I had intended to make my own way, and things didn’t turn out as I had planned or predicted – do they ever? I ended up marrying a con man who relieved me of every personal financial asset either through coersion or documented fraud. There is a long, dull history of emotional abuse and neglect, but I was unable to “see” the forest for the trees.

If I could say anything to anyone about cons (long, or short cons), it would be this: DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR FINANCES WITH ANYONE. This means children, friends, family, or potential partners/companions. If a sociopath (or, someone that fits the profile) even THINKS that there is money to be had, they will swoop into their target’s life using any/every nano-bit of information that they have gleaned to their benefit. I am a survivor of domestic violence/abuse, and the second exspath insisted, assured, promised, and reiterated that he would “never do ‘those’ things” to me that I had survived.

Money changes everything, according to Cindi Lauper, and it’s TRUE.

Ox Drover

Truthspeak, you are so right! It is important that we keep our selves independent. Keep a “stash” put back. I encourage any person, especially young women with children to have a bit of money saved back….money that they DO NOT EVER TOUCH unless it is to escape a bad situation.

Even if the marriage seems sane and stable, you never know what will happen.

I haven’t talked much about my divorce from hell here on LF but I was a stay at home mom without any money in my name, and in those days no credit in my name, it was all in his name….I ended up going from an affluent married woman to a single mom with hardly a pot or a window….and for a while I was literally homeless with my kids. So you never know what is coming around the block. It is important that we prepare as much as possible for UNEXPECTED HARD TIMES.

Even if it is only a dollar a week that a person saves…it is important to keep that money for “hard times” Our independence is important in allowing us to take care of ourselves and not be beholden to anyone else. Just keeping a roof over our heads is important. Becoming totally dependent on anyone else is a risky proposition. You just never know who you can trust and who you can’t.

Truthspeak

OxD, independence is something that I SO did not learn. The first exspath even said it with his own mouth, “I want you to rely upon me for everything.” The second spath assured me, repeatedly, that I was “never to worry” about anything – that he would care for me. LMAO!!!!

Bottom line is this: keep monies private except for joint bills. Although this will never be an issue for me, I would never co-mingle my personal funds with another person, again. EVER. And, I will NOT discuss my financial issues with anyone, either. Maybe 3 people know what my current financial situation is, and many more know about the second exspath’s frauds and forgeries, but I am playing my cards mighty close to my vest, forever.

Perhaps, this is what’s so difficult to overcome: the trust issues. At this point, I don’t much care about trusting other people. I just want to get through this and out the other side.

Truthspeak

It might be important to note that the exspath (current one) very much wanted to appear successful and affluent – at MY expense. In fact, towards the end, the female-ex-con-slash-sociopath-slash-domestic-abuser was actually telling people who were customers of hers that the exspath and I were “rolling in it.” I never gave that impression, and I never spoke to her about my finances until I was in a very, very bad situation, and then everyone in the County knew about it within hours.

The exspath made numerous large-ticket purchases which he glibly explained away as having made overtime wages, set money aside, saved income tax refunds, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Because I trusted this person, I never questioned these purchases. I even agreed to some of the purchases in an effort to support and encourage his interests.

Well, boys and girls, this is a SCREAMING red flag: if a potential partner whines about something that they want or an interest that they have that requires significant outlay of cash, it’s a bad situation from the gate. The exspath made very few purchases using his own funds to support my interests – nearly all of my supplies came from my own private account.

When someone begins asking questions or leading a conversation into the topic of money, finances, and self-sufficiency, it’s time to break out the firehose and put that flame RIGHT the hell out.

Ox Drover

When my late husband and I got married, I had known him for 20+ years but We had a pre-nup drawn up. During the 20+ years that we were married we did co-mingle finances some, but I was still protected from his kids, x wife, etc. and in such a way that I was not hung out to dry and could NOT be hung out to dry.

Actually, if we had gotten a divorce, he could have taken his suitcase to his taxi to have left me. LOL I also had my reserve funds that were MINE…even though we were in a joint funds state the pre nup made them mine, not ours. He was 15 years older than me and I actually expected to out llive him, but he also would have been protected if I had died first.

I have my “reserve” fund and will not touch it unless I am running from wolves….I will never ever again depend on anyone to “take care of” me. I think EVERY person should have their “reser4ve” funds. Male or female. Married or single.

I loved and trusted my first husband, but still…”you never know” what will happen. Mental illness or any other thing that might happen. My first husband was a good man, but he became mentally ill and his P father took over and financially raped me and my kids. It took me 7 years to pull out of the abyss that he threw me into, so once I pulled out of that, I never again got to where I was dependent on anyone else for a roof over my head.

I think adults should be responsible for themselves.

Truthspeak

OxD….thank you so much for sharing. We talk a lot about the emotional devastation, but the financial damages wrought by spath entanglements is just part and parcel of the whole ugly experience, I think. I don’t know of ONE spath survivor that didn’t experience some sort of financial damage along with the emotional wreckage.

HUGS

Ox Drover

Truthspeak, Over the years I sent my son Patrick commissary money in the amounts of $150 monthly, plus $500 for this or that….and it amounted up to quite a large some over the nearly 20 years that I financed him. Probably to the tune of $30 thousand or more…during the nearly 20 years I sent him money.

It wasn’t horribly huge in the scope of things, but more than enough. I’d like to have that money back…and the egg donor cost me about $50K to run from her and the other psychopaths, so it turned out to be a significant sum of money in the end. Plus, I have to spend money to buy security and so on, so it does cost money that I could well use for other things. I’m just glad that I do have the reserve funds to meet these expenses. Without them I would be living in a culvert or under a bridge.

I did make some poor choices in the family trust, but at least Patrick can’t get that unless he kills me. LOL I’m going to do the best I can to see that doesn’t happen. If I can outlive my egg donor, I am “home free” and he can hunt me till hell freezes over and never fiind me. If I don’t out live her, I won’t care anyway. LOL

czarinamom

To Northsea:
I am not on this site much – however I saw your comment to me.

I hope my posting from this guy was an insight to you and that you made the choice to stay away. Something is not right with his story.

Ox Drover

Northsea, don’t know if you are aware, but if you want to contact someone, do it through Donna rather than post an e mail on the blog for a troll to pick up. I suggest that you delete (hit the edit button under your post) your direct contact information and ask donna at [email protected] dot com to pass on any information you think Czarinamom might need. She isn’t on here right now as far as I know, haven’t seen a post by her in some time past. Thanks.

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