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Internet blackmail of underage girls

This shocking story details how rings of webcam predators and blackmailers convince girls to video themselves naked, and then mercilessly harass them sometimes to the point of suicide.

Cowards are blackmailing young women to death on the Internet, on Vice.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.



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60 Comments on "Internet blackmail of underage girls"

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I’m so grossed out by reading how these young girls are blackmailed!I feel so sad when I read of Amanda’s story.Her mother did everything she could think to help her.There has got to be some rules about websites that are allowed to be set up.And while the internet makes anonominity so easy,there should be some way to monitor those who join the websites.Like if they say they are a certain age,maybe a secret question that only a person that age or older could answer.Also put real pressure on the creeps on the internet…catch’em and prosecute!

There was a young boy who was extorting other boys for sex through similar means. I think it was in Wisconsin. Fortunately he was reported and prosecuted.

This article is so disturbing. It is hard to understand why these structures can thrive and also be infiltrated by the writer and yet not halted by authorities.

QUOTE FROM ARTICLE ABOVE

“I did, however, speak to Dr. Fred Berlin, founder of the Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic. Fred specializes in the study and rehabilitation of pedophiles, and when I brought up blackmailing, he was quick to point out that pedophilia and the proclivity to blackmail are not intrinsically tied. “Pedophilia just has to do with a different kind of sexual makeup,” he said. “Someone with pedophilia is no more or less likely to blackmail others than somebody who is heterosexual or homosexual. I don’t want to suggest that having the psychiatric condition of pedophilia is somehow inextricably linked to that sort of behavior.”

This distinction of pedophilia as a sexual orientation is an important one. It doesn’t take a psychologist to understand that no one chooses to be turned on by children. Just as homosexuals don’t choose to be attracted to the same sex, or heterosexuals to the opposite sex, the pedophiliac orientation is a result of genetics. It follows, then, that there are pedophiles who recognize the danger of their sexual urges and want to control them. Unfortunately, the stigma that our society has put on those who are attracted to children dissuades many of them from seeking help. ”

IMHO Dr. Fred Berlin is an IDIOT

Oxy, agreed!

Wow.

This is one of the most shocking articles I’ve ever read. It makes the spathworld website look like kindergarten.

These vampires literally troll the web looking for naive young women to ensnare, to take that first little step down the slippery slope, so that they can blackmail them into slavery.

I hope that this article makes it into every school paper as a warning to young women that there are monsters like this everywhere.

Personally, I don’t thing the mother did everything she could have done. She should have taken the girl’s computer away so that she couldn’t have anymore contact with the abusers.

These kinds of evil abusers have always existed, the GREAT thing about the internet is that they have exposed themselves by creating these forums. If they hadn’t done so, many people would never have believed that anything so diabolical exists.

The world wide web serves as a kind of repository that reflects what exists in the real world. For the first time we can say that we have hard data about the ugly side of humanity. It isn’t speculation anymore. It’s all there in black and white.

Excuses,excuses!Make it ok for the creeps to not seek help….just harass and intimidate and when their victims decide to take their lives,they don’t even feel any remorse!They just move on to the next victim!

Parents must in order to be GOOD PARENTS monitor where and with whom their kids associate, and that includes social media. Any child that is given free, unfettered access to the WWW iis being neglected by their parents.

Just as a parent who allowed their child to go to an “adult” store would be neglectful, or to allow a child to drink alcohol, to allow a child to get on the net and troll it for whatever they want to see (and kids are naive and curious) is as bad or worse.

Women sue explicit ‘revenge porn’ site after jilted lovers anonymously posted revealing pictures of them

By Daily Mail Reporter

PUBLISHED: 18:22 EST, 25 January 2013 | UPDATED: 06:47 EST, 26 January 2013

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It isn’t only young girls who get caught up in this but anyone who allows someone to take photos of themselves that they wouldn’t want the entire world to see. It is BAD judgment for sure.

Blossom, if you have information indicating the fewer people are seeking help because of people like this doctor, and the one in the other thread, please share it, because that is what I am doubting or not getting. And it contradicts what the psychiatrist in the other article said. Skip it if you haven’t read it.

A remorseless creep with any destructive problem is probably much less likely to seek help than a dysfunctional person capable of remorse. This probably holds true for the question of whether someone thinks he is too smart to get caught vs believe will or might. The program in Germany seems to have shown that a nontrivial portion of these people *want* help. (Even if it is for self_preservation rather than moral compass)

Is no one interested in the actual data if there is any?

I know the mother made efforts, by trying to talk into her daughter, make her see what’s wrong behaviour, and teens gradually need to be allowed more resposnibility of their behaviour, etc…

BUT a parent must still step IN and take responsibility for teens, when it’s clear they can’t. At a certain age (around 13-14) my mother prohibited to play outside on the street with certain clothing (shorts)… There was no discussing about it. If I would have worn them outside on the street while playing, she would have thrown them away. It wasn’t that these were too revealing, but on a lanky girl shooting like a tree, and the perfect “innocent” look for predators out there.

When I was 16 and had an Italian summer holiday bf of 20/21 who my parents were shady (they saw him flirt heavily with an older English au pair at the holiday site behind my back) they gave me a curfew hour, to be back in my tent. It was late enugh of course for me to have still been able to have a sexual encounter, but as they never gave me a curfew before, and they also said to me where the condoms were in the caravan and the request that they hoped I would wait for someone I believed worthy, all those things together made me cautious on how far to go. I must say, I would go home to my tent, and do some trick as if it seemed I was in my tent, and then snuck off again… but at the same time, that they installed one, made me cautious around him and I would just go back to sit with our friends. And of course, he wasn’t gonna wait around for a girl traipsing back and forth to her tent.

When I was 14, I was allowed to go to the campsite’s local disco, but forbidden to go to the disco of the village. I was mad. I thought they were stupid. And then they allowed me to go to the village’s fair with two friends (one 15 and one 17). While I was standing by myself at the side of the bumping cars for my turn, I ended up being cornered first by a pedophile’s female minion and then the guy himself. I was able to jump into a bumping car at the right moment. I didn’t question my parents’ decision to not allow me to the disco of the village afterwards. Eventually I did go, with my parents accompanying me.

Yes, teens need empowerment education and talk and conversations. But you cannot expect them to be empowered yet. They feel when something’s wrong (right with the pedophile cornering me with the bumping cars, ad with the Italian bf a few years later), but they are not yet equipped to say “no”. That’s what parents are for at such times, even though if that upsets the teen and makes them think their parents are stupid and overreacting.

Oxy, your link may bolster the doctor’s point. This heinous conduct is the domain of the sociopath, and doesn’t map one to one with paedophilia.

Oxy,

I remember one time with the ex-spath, while we were on skype there was a period his camera didn’t work. Anyway, he asked me whether I would strip for him. I told him no. Didn’t feel like it and certainly not when I couldn’t see him. He then turned the conversation to whether I was having doubts about him. LOL, at the time, I thought it was unrelated… but now I see it was a tactic. Kinda backfired at that moment: I told him I did have doubts. Then he wrote he was crying blablabla, and then asked about stripping again (which I thought weird to bring up again). Still didn’t say yes to it. He NEVER asked this of me before, nor afterwards. So, I’m pretty sure he was up to no good at the time if I had done so.

Darwinsmom! You dodged a bullet. He had someone else in the room with him and he wanted you to strip to show how he could control you. My spath said his camera was stolen right before he convinced me to do certain things… AND he cried when I didn’t want to. Of course, I was stupider than you and he finally broke me down after days of crying.

It’s like they all use the same play book. 😯

On another note: I believe that there is a link between pedophilia and spathy, they are both attracted to innocence. The spath is attracted to a person whose innocence and naivety will allow them to con and manipulate them. The ped is attracted to someone whose PHYSICALLY embodies those traits, for the same reason, they are easily manipulated.

My spath used to rant and rail when he saw young girls with tattoos or piercings. He would go on and on about the atrocity of it. It was like he was taking it personally. He said, “It’s like plucking the petals off a flower!”

Well, spath had a speech aphasia where he got words and meaning messed up, but I think that the word, “deflower” is what he was trying to express. I think what was making him mad was that these young women had “deflowered” their own innocent appearance, before he got a chance to do it himself.

Another spath, that I know told me what he thought of his wife. He said, “I was attracted to (my wife) because I could easily manipulate her.”

Anyone who wants power, wants to manipulate, and will look for victims that are easily manipulated. To those people, an innocent person, is a turn on because it’s a power rush.

Remember too that the scapegoat is chosen for being innocent and without blemish. White doves or sheep are the common choice.

There are creeps of all genders, all ages, and all proclivities. Raggedy Ann, I suggest that you read Dr. Anna Salter’s book on Predators. She is the acknowledged world wide expert on pedophiles and their behavior, it might open your eyes to a lot of things about pedophiles.

The average number of “offenses” when one is FIRST caught is over 300.

I have personally known one of the pedophiles who abused over 1500 separate kids over a 20 year period of time. He is doing life without parole. His name is Charles “Jackie” Walls III and he is in Arkansas prisons, you can look him up.

He was caught when one of his victims told his parents and Jackie convinced the kid to murder them. He was caught of course and Jackie’s history came out. One of his victims also committed suicide, his nephew that he had molested.

I have personally known several other serial offenders who were pedophiles and went to prison…one killed himself after he got out of prison. I have every reason to believe he kept on offending after he got out.

Not all people who have a desire to have sex with children offend, but those who do are monsters in my opinion and deserve what ever criminal punishment the law can meet out.

For those who are gay and do not act upon those desires, or pedophiles who do not act on those desires, or for those like me who are straight and choose to abstain from sex for what ever reason, I do not “pity” us. We are making reasonable (for us) choices. There are consequences for some acts….sexual contact is one of those that can have many different consequences both in terms of health, emotional well being, financial consequences, parenthood, etc. or in the case of some acts, legal consequences. By refraining from illegal sex or sex we consider immoral, or sex that is just “unwise,” we are controlling our impulses in a positive way. The same way I control my impulse to steal money I might really like to have.

Sky, assuming that pedophilia IS genetic (just for the sake of argument) we also know that alcoholism and drug addiction have genetic roots as well….and we know that Psychopathy is very much genetic (though none of these are entirely genetic) and that more people who are Ps are ALSO ADHD and Bi-Polar and a higher % of left handed people….so, what is to say that Psychopathy is not ALSO linked to Pedophilia, in such a way that more pedophiles (than the general population) are ALSO psychopaths? And therefore more pedophiles would be LIKELY TO ACT than not.

John Wayne Gacy was a pedophile, and he KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS ILLEGAL and WRONG (otherwise he would not have tried to hide the bodies) I think most pedophiles know right from wrong, but justify it to themselves as “harmless” to the victim. Some of course kill their victims too.

Then there are the Jerry Sanduskys of this world.

I pity lonely and sexually frustrated peope, I pity frustrated hormone-consumed young males who are afraid to satisfy themselves because it is a sin against God. It makes me sad. None of this is specific to paedophilia. All groups have individual whpo find celibacy and lack of human touch difficult. I know plenty of people who function completely differently once their needs are satisfied, even if its just to feed their skin hunger. It would be nice for this hardship not to exist for anyone.
The literal sex part is easier for me because I am in a chemically induced menopause. Also take an SSRI. Without that, and in my twenties, it would be rougher. I do believe I suffer inordinately from skin hunger — which is just one more thing that can makeus vulnerable to spaths or bad decisions.

I will certainly look at the book when I can, and check the amazon reviews this week. I won’t be surprised to find the same conflating of molestor with non molestors that I am seeing here. But maybe she will change my thinking. Thank you very much for the recommendation.

Obviously people who are caught and not later exonerated have molested and are likely spaths. The whole question is the people who have not or have mostly avoided it. The articles here imply that such types exist.

I saw a news report on the internet porn revenge, this morning, and it just makes my SKIN crawl because these youngsters honestly and TRULY believe that what they are doing with (and, FOR) whomever is coercing them into providing the imagery have absolutely NO concept of predatory human beings.

OxD, I believe that nobody goes to such great lengths to HIDE their sexual interests if they truly believe that those interests aren’t harmful. Whether it’s genetic or otherwise, it all boils down to self-control.

It’s a matter of CHOICES. Any label that allows for a removal of CHOICES is damaging to patients AND society. And, when I reference that, I’m talking strictly about behavioral disorders and not conditions like schizophrenia.

I’ve been on the “locked ward” of a State Mental Institution and I’ve seen the most pitiful examples of humanity that I could ever imagine. These poor souls did NOT have a CHOICE – they were born with (or, developed) a condition that rendered them a danger to themselves, or to society. This was BEFORE the doors on every mental institution were swumg wide and the patients released on their own.

Some things have no cure because there are no choices available. Other things, like defrauding people of their finances, acting out pedophiliac impulses, and deliberately inflicting harm upon other human beings for one’s own entertainment or personal gain ARE CHOICES.

Brightest blessings

Oxy, there are numerous activities people don’t see as wrong but they are sophisticated about hiding. Marijuana use, selling, and growing come to mind first. All kinds of things that kids lie to their parents about. Having an unliscenced pet dog, or unzoned extra studio in the building you own.
All of humanity know killing is illegal. Regardless of whether someone understands that killing is wrong, they often hide the body to get away with it. Even they think that other person “needed killin”. Rarely does someone just leave a body to be found, unless they are staging a fake crime, which is on par with hiding a body. I know sometimes people report themselves, but that’s not typical.

I don’t think there can be any question that there is a relationship between molestors’ typical brains and psychopaths’ typical brains. Because molestors are psychopaths. But those neuroscientists were in that article about the brains were describe something different. Again, this is more like a Venn diagram. How do you account for the participation in that German program and its supposed initial positive results?

I’ve read extensively on oxytocin and the need for people to be touched. Babies DIE if they are not touched and hugged and interacted with..it is called failure to thrive syndrome and the baby’s systems shut down and they die even if given adequate food and “care” it isn’t enough without touch.

As adults we still have these needs and sometimes there are ways to fill this need in socially acceptable ways…hugging our friends, our children, our grandchildren, volunteering to care for infants in a church nursery.

Truthy, I spent a semester in a “state hospital” for the criminally insane when I was in school and I worked for a year and a half in a locked adolescent ward in a private hospital with mainly BPD girls and budding psychopathic boys and it was an eye opener for me. I realized that there are “children” worse than mine. We only had ONE girl in the entire hospital the entire time I was there who really was “mentally ill” the rest were personality disordered or conduct disorder.

I have mixed feelings about opening up the institutions and turning the patients out on the street. The institutions were horrible, and being on the street alone, homeless, confused, is horrible too. Just opening the doors without adequate alternatives was bad as well. There are some good group homes for mentally challenged though and I’ve been in some of them as well, but they are NOT cheap to run.

sky,

I’m pretty sure he asked exactly for that reason as you suggested. He claimed to be on his dad’s puter that had just got skype installed and internet connection, but without camera and speakers. Anyway, I couldn’t even hear his voice. He was just typing.

This was in the first year, and I was really in doubt on whether to stay in the relationship, perhaps not even goig to Nicaragua. It started to bother me that he remained so dependent of me financially, and those papers were taking much too long (hell they took even longer). I’ve never stripped in front of a camera, and certainly wasn’t gonna start then, certainly not when I couldn’t even see him myself.

Oxy, you and I have discussed oxytocin in the past, and touch and failure to thrive. I don’t recall the specific context. Look at all the things you suggested that involve children. A pedophile should not have those available. What remains is hugs from friends, which unfortunately in our culture is limited, especially between men. A person on a registry, like the man in the article is also likely being shunned by many people around him and has few friends. He may also be prevented from interacting with other offenders.

I read somewhere that our (US) culture is extremely touch-limited/deprived compared to many others. I keep asking myself if that contributes to our problem and to the torment or instability of disturbed people. (Specifically I have been wondering about school shooters or homeless mentally ill people)

I have also wondered if psychopaths could be given oxytocinand vasopressin as part of some method for reducing their pathology, but from my poking around it looks like at the moment that has limited potential.

The best remedy for touch deprivation I can think of would be some sort of body work that is a variant of massage. It doesn’t seem to available, but be approximateable with Reiki, or even certain kinds of pampering in the beauty shop.

Combined, maybe with keeping a pet. I’ll bet you really benefit from nurtuting and working with the animals on your farm!

Receptors for oxytocine in psychopaths don’t work properly. It’s not on the availability side from what I’ve read, but on the receptor side.

I’m a huggy kind of person. I hug my friends even in a special way: we hug tightly and then put our hand on each other’s heart directly.

I’m totally fine with masturbation for pure sexual release. I do NOT want to have meaningless sexual contact anymore. I had that already, and while it was fun, it hurt me in the long run exactly because it was void of emotional intimacy. Besides, it would trigger me to sleep with a stranger anyhow now.

That Darwin loves to snuggle up against me anywhere at any given time is a help too. I wouldn’t be able to live single and alone without a pet.

Oxytocin is released in the brains of both humans and their pets when the cat or dog is petted.
Yeah. My cat is my best friend and he is soft and warm and he smells good. When he purrs, I feel happy. He brings me an enormous sense of comfort. He’s my best friend.

Did I say he was my best friend? 🙂

The thing about masturbation is that if that were enough for everybody, prostitution wouldn’t be a billion dollar industry.

We are programmed by evolution or creation to suffer unless we get our needs met to survive and procreate. Food, avoidance of dangerous things through pain, lice picked off of us by fellow monkeys touching us, sex, water/thirst… Apparently some people cope better than others without certain ones. Maybe there should be homo sapien pseudo-louse grooming parlors. I still probably couldn’t afford it often.

Well, between a warm fuzzy from my cat and a happy hum from my vibrater, it is enough for me….and for that, I am very grateful. I am not a hostage to my hormones or my sexual desires, and that means, I’m not prey….neither am I a predator. I am just ok today, and that’s good enough for me.

OH MY!

Raggedy Ann,
Buying prostitutes is not about being touched. It’s about sex addiction which is in fact, SHAME addiction.

http://thesexaddictedbrain.typepad.com/my_weblog/

When we discuss spaths, we notice that much of their behavior is 180 degrees the opposite of what they profess to think or feel. Well, that actually applies to humans in general, the only difference being that with spaths, it’s over the top and doesn’t ever stop.

Because shame is so prevalent in human beings, we spend a lot of time hiding things, from others and from ourselves. We don’t even realize how much shame affects us because it’s so ingrained in us.

I’m not sure exactly why people get addicted to shame except that it seems to trigger a chemical response, like alcohol, where you get numb and can’t feel it anymore, which feels really good.

That’s what narcissism is, it’s bypassed shame and it’s why narcissists behave shamelessly.

Really, I’m not sure if there is a cure.

I think that happy hum is from Pinky! Don’t confuse the hummmmms! 🙂

A humming pussycat?

Errin Brock and KIMMIE—!!! you go girlfriends!!! hummmmmmmmmmm LOLROTFLMAO choke snort snarf 😀

Okay guys. The cat gives me emotional intimacy and comfort. He is my buddy who is always ther, warm soft and smells good. His purrrrrr is not to be confused with my vibrater’s wheoooooeeeeeeeeerrrrrr.

No worries….I hear humming occasionally in my bedroom too……and since dogs don’t hummmmmm…..I think it may be coming from under my bed!! 🙂

I tried to get Oxy to allow her puppy to sleep with her at night. It might solve a variety of problems.

I lovey my Hols cuddleing me. I’m lost when the kids steal her at night.

I totally understand, Kim! I’ve had cats sleep with me ever since I can remember. When Nelson had died, and I returned home learning of it, I started to look for a new cat the day after, and 3 days after that I adopted Darwin. I knew the bonding would take some time for him as well as myself… but at least I wasn’t living ALONE anymore. Now he’s 4.5 and bunde of fuzz, purrs and joy. I have one side of the bed, he takes the other (but always first by walking across me to let me know he’s joinging me) and then cuddles up against my back. He doesn’t get up, until I do, but when I do, he starts running to and fro the hallway as a game. He’s actually a bit of a dog in some ways… If I disappear even for two minutes in another room, he’ll soon join me there, including when I take a hot bath. I couldn’t have a more faithful companion than him.

As for prostitutes: I know my body better than they’ll ever do, and affection doesn’t come with the price, which is what one needs mostly imo, unless they’re a spath. If the sex doesn’t come with affection, I don’t want. At least with masturbation I’m loving myself.

darwinsmom,
you never had my spath pleasure you. He’s the perfect prostitute. He’s like a computer who can process billions of inputs per second and adapt to what you want.

He can know your body in an instant. Still, there is a lack of emotion. Spaths don’t understand that we want a lover who feels.

that’s what I mean, Sky… Sex isn’t lovemaking 😉 And of course I’d be way too old for him 🙂

Erin, the problem with my dog sleeping with me is that we have TICKS down here and I’ve had rocky mountain spotted fever 4 X now and I don’t want a dog bringing ticks on their hair into my bed. The little terrier slept with me and even though I put stuff on him to repel ticks, but it never worked 100%. The Werewolf sleeps beside my bed and she thinks she’s a lap dog and I get plenty of loving from her. It is really awesome to have a dog as fierce as she is that is so loving as well. I swore I wouldn’t get attached to her but well….I’ve taken vows before I broke.

😆
you’re only human after all! And pets have ways of breaking us down!

Love the heck out of her, you’ll never regret it.

Ha, I got you all beat~! I bed down with three wiener’s every nite.~! One warm’s my feet, one has my back and one has her own pillow and snores..

Skylar, a component of sex is being touched – both the skin, and pressure on muscles. Not all the time, like if someone is getting a bj in his clothes, but generally. Another component is the unexpected – passive reception of stimulus from out side yourself. For a lot of men, it is also about visuals. Masturbation doesn’t cover all of these bases. Smell and pheromones might even play some role.

Just as with there being many reasons people date, many reasons people go to clubs trying to hook up, there are a variety of reasons people use prostitutes. There are various kinds of prostitutes, various kinds of johns, and varying reasons for the existence of the industry.

I think plenty of people can find adequate shame in masturbation itself, but independently of that, masturbation does not provide people with what sex does, or they would not spend so much energy or money chasing it socially. Some of the prostitution market is related to this.

Raggedy ann,

There are many ways to satisfy skin and touch hunger in socially acceptable ways BESIDES sex in my opinion. And while masturbation may not be the “ideal” sexual experience (in my opinion sex should be a bonding ritual between two people who care about each other) it does satisfy some people some of the time.

As for prostitution, which is legal in Nevada and illegal every where else (it is obvious that the laws against it in the other 49 states have not stopped it in those states) it is “the oldest profession” but I think it belittles and degrades both the seller and the buyer though it does “meet a perceived need” or it would not be either sold or bought.

Nudiie bars and “lap dances” do the same thing on a quazi-legal level. “Massage parlors” that go beyond a “normal” massage as well.

Every level of sexual kink can be bought and sold in the world if you look for it— from bondage to underage children— if you have the money to pay for it.

I dated a guy who had been married for 32 years and he cheated on his wife for the entire 32 years until she finally caught him and divorced him. Prostitutes and a “harem” of various women scattered around in different towns that he had on going affairs with. When he got divorced he wanted me as his next “respectable” wife to cheat on and keep his harem from wanting him to marry them. He wasn’t deprived of sexual contact, he just wanted what he wanted and didn’t care who he hurt. He was also a psychopath.

Psychopaths as a group tend to be neither gay nor straight but will fark anything that will stand still, though, some do have specific preferences.

While I realize that you apparently feel pity for all people who do not have a sexual partner or someone with whom they can satisfy their skin hunger for touch, I also feel pity for anyone who as a disability that makes it difficult for them to have “normal” human relationships, such as mental retardation, severe mental illness, physical deformity etc. but for those people who must contain themselves because of their desires being illegal and/or immoral, well, I think those people can make alternate choices to satisfy their need to be touched. Just as people who are “hooked on the adrenaline rush” of risk taking can can choose to rob banks to get the rush, or they can take up sky diving or motorcycle racing. There are alternate ways that are socially acceptable to meet just about any psychological need for the vast majority of folks.

Yea, fixer, we posted that somewhere on here not too terribly long ago. Interesting. You can get a massage around here from a licensed therapist as well for about $60 an hour.

For $25 you can attend a Cuddle Party. You bring your pajamas and cuddle with strangers. There is even a trained facilitator.
http://www.cuddleparty.com/

With my luck though, all the spaths would want to cuddle me.
🙁

Actually, I can’t think of a better way to announce that you are desperate for affection and attract all the spaths right to you, than to go to a cuddle party.

you better take a can of raid and a flyswatter to that party.

Oxy, I find many of the conventional “alternate” ways degrading too. Going to clubs and meeting people? Dating somebody I probably wonNt stay with and who has traits that bother me just because my propects are poor with other guys I prefer? B. ubble baths, showers, only go so far. And what is someone is busy providing for a family… I can see lots of obstacles.

I’m going to keep researching. Reiki will be first.

Btw, oxy, today I remembered a case a therapist told me about having. A man was caring for three daughter because his wife died or left. He was responsible for the girls and probably didn’t have the resources to live separately from them. With the wife gone, he started having sexual thought about his teenage daughters, and he neglected them because he retreated every night to drink to numb everything. He was their provider. Would this guy be a psychopath? Evil? Someone to round up without having commited a crime and leave those same girls without a provider? I don’t think he’s a psychopath. As far as I know he didn’t end up offending.
I don’t know how reasoable that guy’s alternate choices would be to pursue. He probably tried some which only heled partly.

raggedy, or so he says to the therapist… that it’s his wife’s death that caused him to start fantasising about his daughters, and that it’s his teenage daughters looking so enticing that he needs to drink to numb everything.

Sounds like a “it’s not my fault” reasoning

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