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By September 20, 2010 10 Comments Read More →

Investigation Discovery documentary seeks men stalked by women

Earlier today I posted an article complaining that the media don’t do enough to educate people about sociopaths. Well, perhaps a show will shed light on one type of predator – stalkers.

Investigation Discovery – the same network that aired my show on Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? – is planning a documentary on stalking in January for stalking awareness month.

Here’s what I heard from the production company:

Basically we are looking for stalking victims to tell their stories to help raise awareness and campaign for better laws. They would have to be willing to be on TV. Ideally their stalker would be in jail or they would at least have a restraining order (for legal purposes), and there needs to have been an escalation of events. Specifically we would like to have a male victim, because 1 in 4 stalking victims is male and so far all of our victims are female.

If you’re a guy who would like to participate, contact me at [email protected]

Posted in: Media sociopaths

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10 Comments on "Investigation Discovery documentary seeks men stalked by women"

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I’m glad they are doing a show on “stalking”—ANY kind of stalking. My son and I had a long conversation the other day about the Current “definition” of the word STALKING.

It seems that my son D thinks that the word “he’s a stalker” or “she’s a stalker” really doesn’t mean to most young people, or maybe even older ones the SERIOUS meaning that you or I might give the word.

Just like when kinds started saying “Oh, he’s sooooo BAAAD” meaning “good”—-or when one might playfully call a friend a “bitch” or “ho”—-

I’ve read several books lately (last couple of years) about stalking, (there’s a thread/article here on LF I did about it) and stalking is SOOO VERY COMMON in our society. With the Internet and access to more records much more easily, running or hiding from a person who is stalking you is not an easy task. Even moving far away can still leave you vulnerable to being found.

Women may not be known for “stalking” men as often as the other way around but can be AS DANGEROUS as any man. We have a saying in the South, “God made men and women, but MR. SAMUEL COLT made them equal” (with the pistols he made).

Stalking to me is about ownership, control and refusing to let go of someone.

Gavin DeBecker’s book, “the Gift of Fear” is a great book for those people who are having issues with someone stalking them.

Stalking should be taken seriously and not trivailised by courts, judges or anyone else.

I’d be glad to refer someone for the show if I knew a man who would “qualify” according to their requirements.

Any guys lurking out there? CALL DONNA!!!!

For a different take on this, I would suggest having the producers contact either the producer or subject of a two part CBC documentary: “Monster in the Family” (produced by JS Kastner) about a convicted offender whose MOTHER instigated an extremely successful national campaign to have him declared a dangerous offender and an incurable psychopath. She raised an incredible amount of media attention hounding her son, which went all the way to our current Prime Minister using his name in national press conferences during the federal election as a “poster boy” serial offender. But, as the documentary shows, he was primarily a minor offender (with one serious exception) who had been physically abandoned by her at a young age (dropped off at a mental institution at the age of 13 or so) when she wanted to remarry. But not emotionally abandoned. There she retained contact to **** with her son’s mind.

It’s a truly heartbreaking and horrifying story. It does a good job of showing who the “true” psychopath is in the story.
http://www.jskastner.com/mo_pressrelease.html

I think it’s very important not to “genderize” this (not saying that the producers have).

For instance, I don’t know that I’d say my own mother has been “stalking” me recently, but at one point a minister from my grandparent’s home-town (we were there for a service for my father – whose death I’d discovered accidentally months after the fact) told me not to come back there, to change my name, and to never let my mother find me.

From my experience it has little to do with gender – and everything to do with disordered perpetrators and disempowered victims.

Dear Annie,

Thank you for posting the link above. Actually, in case you don’t know my story, I am CURRENTLY fighting the release on parole of my own son, a psychopath incarcerated 20+ years ago for murder, and whose 2nd parole comes up in January. He IS A MONSTER and he is very much a psychopath, which has been more than reasonably displayed since he was about 15. Many psychopaths do start to demonstrate this violent behavior about puberty and carry on with it until they are stopped one way or another.

Even while he was in prison, my son tried to have me killed by sending one of his ex-cell mates who is also a professionally diagnosed psychopath and 3 X child rapist! He was sent to prison again for his attempt to shoot one of my other sons, and for stalking me, but is now back out and off parole. I did everything I could to keep him incarcerated for as long as I could as well. Unfortunately with the prisons full, he was released again, but I have no doubt he will molest another child (or worse) and go back to prison.

I don’t know the particular story details about this case you linked to, but I do know that not everyone who has tried to keep their offspring in prison has “abandoned” that child or failed to get them the “help” needed. There are others on this blog whose children have been dangerous and uncontrollable by 15+ of age. Psychopaths who are “set in their ways” at some point in time, who have made the decisions that NO ONE will control them, that they will use others as pawns for their own use, cannot be “helped” by anyone or any thing except prison or death.

I will do everything I can to keep my son in prison for his natural life, because if he gets out before my death or the deaths of my other sons, we are as good as dead. However, in spite of the documentary evidence, which she has seen, my own egg donor (mother) has been enabling and supportive of my P-son and will tell you the poor baby is just being mistreated by his mother (me) because even though he took a gun and blew the brains out of a beautiful 17 year old girl, he has “found Jesus” and deserves another chance. Unfortunately, my P son has blown every chance he ever had, including robbery, assault, sex with a 13 year old girl, motor vehicle theft, breaking and entering, fraud, and MURDER. Since age 17 he has not been out of prison more than 5 months in a stretch. (most of that time was while he was running from the law and in violation of parole).

The mother in that case above may be a psychopath as well (it does run in families and there is a genetic link to the disorder) My sperm donor (father) was also a murderer, and his mother was though not outside the law one of the most cruel women I can remember being told about, and her father was apparently also psychopathic with more than one wife at a time. So my P son is in good genetic company, and maybe this young man’s mother was also a psychopath, but I am glad that he is in prison as well. I wish more of them were in prison.l

Hi Oxy,
You have an excellent point; I should have been clearer.

I’ve been reading your posts for almost two years now, and I can unequivically say that, in case anyone is wondering, the case in those documentaries (“Monster in the Family – Parts I&II”) is nothing like your situation!!! But knowing your situation, and how familiar it is to everyone here on LF, I should have made more of an effort to clearly differentiate the two. Because, believe me, once you see the documentaries you will see that the two situations are nothing like one another.

For what it’s worth, the following link appears to be an on-line copy of PartI of the documentary (PartII was filmed one year later):
[EDIT – I’ve removed this link until I can be sure it’s safe]

I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet so not sure if it’s a valid link – we’re currently in the midst of transferring laptops so I’m on a very old PC with not enough power to view much of anything at the moment.

If you or Donna are interested, I’d be more than happy to mail you the DVDs.

In this case the producer interviewed almost everyone associated with Mr. Ferrier’s incarceration and youth services. All of them were adamant that he was in no way a dangerous offender (the status used to keep someone behind bars indefinitely) and couldn’t understand why the situation had escalated so far. I don’t believe the term “psychopath” came up, but it’s pretty clear that none of his prison or youth workers thought that he was in any way a psychopath.

EDIT – I checked out the download site link on another computer – McAfee lists it as probably OK, but I’m not so sure, so I’ve removed it.

Dear Annie,

Thanks a bunch, just mail them to Donna with a note to have her mail them on to me when she gets done watching. I WOULD LOVE TO WATCH THEM.

I have a limited “amount” air card, so can’t watch DVDs on line and I even try not to watch U-tubes and such very often. I only have 5 MBs a month or have to pay extra (part of living in the boondocks)

The crazy thing about my situation is that NO ONE (outside of LF and a few close friends) believe a word of my “story.” When I got on the phone to hire an attorney in Texas, I could tell from his voice he didn’t believe a word of what I said. After I mailed him the foot locker of letters from P-son and other evidence, when we got on the phone it was “WOW, THIS GUY IS DANGEROUS WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!” LOL and I actually am at a point now that I don’t care i f someone believes me or not!

There was a time it was SO important to me that the neighbors and my egg donor believed me, but now I could give a big rat’s behind! There was a time when it was SO IMPORTANT that I tell the world my tale of woe, but it was mostly because I could not validate myself, or my reality.

That validation is so important to us. I think that is why LF works so well, is that we get some external validation when we are too “helpless” (weak, injured, broken, or whatever term you want to use) to validate ourselves.

There have been several new people come on LF lately who have so MANY attackers at once that they feel “crazy” or that they are alone and broken. Just to have these people feel for even one minute that they ARE NOT ALONE and that SOME ONE BELIEVES them. That someone not only listens and believes but CARES is so important. I remember how important it was to me.

I’m sure you remember WITSEND…and the problems she had, looking for HELP for her morphing psychopathic son—no one would listen to her. Still to this day, her other son, the “good” one does NOT BELIEVE HIS BROTHER IS WHAT HE IS. Fortunately Witty has grown to where she knows and validates herself, and thank goodness her X-MIL the mom of the P-X who committed suicide took in her son so that Witty is not legally obliged to have the kid in her home until he turns 18 in a couple of months, and he (son) has blessed her by going NC with her so she is doubly blessed. She loves her “son:” but at the same time she realizes what he is and that she DOES NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER HIM. Her son is enough like my son I think that I was actually fearful for her life there when she was confronting him. (she had no choice but to confront him because of the school, law etc)

I’ve walked in Witty’s shoes back when my little darling was 15 and becoming dangerous and confrontational. I was so intent on HELPING HIM…and went in and out of that state of denial/delusion.

Sure, it’s hard, painful, etc (add words here to suit needs) but we are stronger than we know we are when we are in the throws of gaslighting and illusion/delusion.

Thanks for the offer of the DVDs I will be looking forward to watching them.

Oxy,
I’ll send off those DVDs. Would love your opinion. And if anyone knows how to get them to bloggert7165, I’d appreciate that. I’ll send extra copies and $$ for postage – if Donna’s OK with that.

I don’t mean to take this thread too far away from its original purpose, because I think that stalking is such an important topic, but below are links to a lecture given here in Ontario by J. Reid Meloy I think you’d be very interested in.

In it he cites studies (not sure how old they are) that say that there is an inverse curvalinear relationship between child abuse and psychopathy: that as we measure an increase in severity from mild to moderate psychopathy the incidence and severity of experienced child abuse also rises. But at the highest levels of psychopathy the incidence of child abuse drops(!), supporting Hare’s hypothesis that this is largely genetic. I immediately thought of your situation as I listened to that! It’s a long lecture (~1hr) – that segment is about 20min. in.

It’s from a program called “Big Ideas”: viewable online for those with more bandwidth, available as a free podcast in iTunes, also available as an mp3 download (for the bandwidth challenged):
http://www.tvo.org/TVOsites/WebObjects/TvoMicrosite.woa?bi?1215892800000
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/big-ideas-video/id336356622 (item 154)

Btw, Dr. Leedom might be interested in Professor Carveth’s criticism at the end (and Meloy’s response) re: Meloy’s habit of discussing psychopathy as an either/or instead of describing it as being on a “spectrum”.

Dear Annie,

Thanks so much. I am not a GREAT fan of Meloy’s as he is the “guru” whose opinion (wrong as it were per DNA 10 yrs later) that the “sadistic” drawings made by a 15 year old meant he was a psychopath and therefore guilty of murder. (He wasn’t, though Meloy’s testemony convicted him!)

Meloy’s writings are in many ways WORD SALAD and so much “professor gobbledy-gook” carp. He is BIG into the “ink blot” tests which most professional people now think are so much carp with very little if ANY validity.

Discussing psychopathy as either/or is like discussing IQ as either/or, or depression as either/or or “tall” as either/or! LOL

Sure there has to be (for research purposes) cut off points of “mentally retarded” or “genius” or “tall” or “short,” but it still doesn’t mean that in reality there is an either/or point anywhere.

I started another of Meloy’s books a while back, and I read some of it and then went back over it again, and again. I realize I have some Short Term Memory problems, but I am NOT RETARDED–what he was saying didn’t make any sense. It was WORD SALAD to puff up his ego (I think). Wonder where the cut off point is for “Narcissistic Jerk” with a PhD.? LOL

Annie,

Donna or Oxy can help you to get in contact with me. I have a few DVD’s about cases that I would be happy to send out as well. When Girls Do It is one of them and the other is The Roger Coleman Story.

Thanks Bloggert7165,
I’ll make extras to send. And thanks in advance to Oxy and Donna for their courier service!

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