Lovefraud Webinar — Self-forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt

Upcoming Lovefraud CE Webinar:

Self-forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt
Presented by Travis Vining
Tuesday, August 14 • 8-9 pm ET • $25
More info

Isn’t it strange? Sociopaths lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, deceive and exploit, all without a shred of remorse. And we, the targets of the abuse, are overwhelmed with guilt.

We feel guilty because we fell for their charm. We feel guilty that we didn’t escape soon enough. And when we do escape, we feel guilty about hurting the sociopaths’ feelings — even though they don’t have any.

When we finally understand the depth of their depravity, we beat ourselves up for enabling them, disregarding the fact that at the time, we didn’t know what they were.

In a new Lovefraud CE webinar, Travis Vining offers a way off of the hamster wheel of guilt and self-blame.

Travis certainly understands the guilt that comes from association with a sociopath. His father, John Bruce Vining, killed four people, and coerced Travis, as a young man, into helping him escape prosecution.

Even though his psyche repressed the memories of what happened, Travis’ body knew. He suffered all kinds of physical ailments, from rashes to addiction. Travis was such a physical and emotional wreck that eventually, the only thing left for him to do was pray. Through spiritual practice, he found healing.

In his webinar, Self-forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt, Travis describes how sociopaths weaponize guilt and use it against us. He explains the cost of holding on to hatred and a desire for revenge. He explains that forgiveness isn’t about releasing the sociopath; it’s about releasing yourself.

Travis is a wonderful inspirational speaker, and his insights come from having done the work of recovery himself. He is supportive and nonjudgmental. He is spiritual in a low-key way, so no matter what your beliefs, you’ll feel comfortable.

With this webinar, Travis shows us how we get stuck in our own prisons — and offers us the keys to escape. Click the link below for more information:

Self-forgiveness: Understanding and letting go of guilt


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It’s my first time posting on any forum.

I am 4 months out of an abusive relationship. I feel lucky that the relationship was only 2 years + in duration although the commitment I gave this person in my life was huge to me.

I can tick lots of boxes in terms of anti social behaviour. Crazy lies, financial abuse, along with physical abuse and of course the emotional side of it too.

He was a victim of previous ‘dramas’ and managed to lie to unbelievable levels to seek sympathy and support on what turns out to be a huge lie.

I have since found out that the ex had a relationship prior to me with the same (and worse) behaviour over a much longer period of time (and with children)

Police were involved but unsuccessful in a prosecution for the physical assaults due to lack of evidence (and of course he’s denied it all )

The stalking has stopped since the court hearing for an order to keep his contact and him away from me for a year.

My days are still spent with it all on my mind. I feel over the worst now and my anxiety is reducing but I’m so tangled up in how I fell for it all. All the lies. I find myself battling with my own thoughts on him too. I tell myself off every time I find myself wondering if he’s had a second thought of his actions towards me and the pain he caused. My head knows that he won’t. My heart is in a million pieces that he just must.

I’m so exhausted. I don’t know how to put it all to bed and move on mentally and emotionally with my life


I’m signing up for the same reason. Intellectually, I am well aware of all the ways and reasons a predator targeted me, and so it is (mostly) not my fault. I could have made some better decisions in response, but I also was in a weakened state. I have guilt, more regret, about not making better decisions, but more that they also impacted others around me.

And I also know there is cognitive dissonance between my head and my heart. And that the love was mostly on my side (as in this relationship I believe he was a milder narcissist and/or psychopath, among other problems, but still seemed pretty empathic genuinely). A mix. I get that he probably did not feel love to the degree I did, possibly not at all. He has given little to no indication he is sorry or bothered by what he did, although some actions subsequent to leaving suggest he cannot face what he did, so he tries to deny it internally, sweep it under the rug with his pre-existing big lump there.

But for some reason, I can’t fully let it go, even though it’s been over for a year and a half. He stalked me later, for months, so that kept it current in my mind. Time does help, as I hope and believe it will in this case too. Our emotions are not fully rational.

I am looking forward to hearing this webinar to get some tips on how to handle this more helpfully.

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