By | October 26, 2011 34 Comments

Murder runs in the family

A few days ago, an Australian teenager pled guilty to a vicious, gruesome murder. He boasted about following the footsteps of his relative, the notorious serial killer Ivan Milat.

Read Teenage relative of infamous Australian serial killer ‘hacks friend to death with axe’ on

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

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You have to wonder what else is in the boy’s history – there had to be an inkling somewhere along the line that he was lacking in the three qualities; empathy, morality and impulse control; that make up a normal person’s mental/emotional being.

The story is beyond sickening and I feel for the family of the murdered young man. To know this was what his last moments were like almost brings me to tears.

The response of the uncle – well this is why I believe in the death penalty in cases where there is no reasonable doubt. There is no reason for society to bear the burden of feeding, housing and guarding such an animal. I am sure the nephew takes satisfaction in knowing his uncle was tickled by the murder. I hope it is the last satisfaction he ever has – the problem is there is no punishment or social shaming that will move that boy. He has no heart, no soul, no remorse, no shame. He delights in evil.

I don’t know why, but this story has really affected me.

This is just disgusting.

breckgirl, it affects you because it’s sick–profoundly, deeply, repulsively sick.

I want to know why those other people didn’t help…the story stops short of explaining how these others were involved. In some ways they sound like passive accomplices…they helped cover the body with tree branches? They recorded it with a phone? I am confused…


I can’t read stuff like this. Freaks me out too much…

Can’t even watch scary movies after the sociopath…

Anyone else get really upset, like overly upset by horror films?


I can’t watch horror films. Even thrillers bother me. It doesn’t have much to do with my spath but he did always want me to watch those kinds of movies with him and was disgusted when I didn’t.

My N-dad, divorced from my Mom, took my brother and I to the theater to see Jaws two weeks before a planned beach vacation with her . I was 8. It was done to ruin the vacation, and it surely did. It also had a profound effect on me that has lasted for 35 years. That movie was made to instill feelings of terror in *adults*.

DawnG, what your dad did is so subtle, but so destructive! He was communicating to you that he had selfish, non-protective intentions with you. Parents are supposed to be the safe rock that we know will never do anything to hurt us (oh, what a fairytale!), but the terror of seeing that movie wasn’t the movie itself. It was knowing that your father harbored a desire to make you feel fear. That goes against everything natural that parents are supposed to do with children. He was sending a clear message that he desired to hurt you psychologically. It wouldn’t matter what film he took you to. The important part was that you knew his intent was to hurt you, which made it a traumatic experience regardless of the film (although Jaws did scare the crap outa me too when I was a kid!). Then you had to grow up knowing that your caretaker wouldn’t always be taking care of you, but would sometimes be the danger itself.

Then you dated a guy who also wanted to drag you into horror films. Hmmm. And he was “disgusted” that you didn’t want to see them? How backwards is that!



You’re dead on in what you’re saying. It doesn’t synch when people who are supposed to love us hurt us on purpose. I have been in denial about my mom for 45 years. It has warped my world view. I feel like it’s my job to make everybody happy. That’s how I was raised. Try to make my mom happy. Try harder. I have a terrible sense of SELF. I don’t stand up for myself. I was taught to orbit my mother-that she was the SUN around which everything revolved.

Dawn, I’m sorry.



I used to love horror movies… but that stopped after a serious reactive depression where I was pre-suicidal as well as traveling to thirld world countries. IMO Horror movies are for adolescents who have not yet experienced deep grief and loss in life or real danger. Horror movies just look plain stupid after that. A horror or slasher movie can never show the true horrors of life. I stopped watching them when I was 29.

Only one I ever saw after that was one with the spath. He had picked out a very realistic one actually, and how manipulative it was, because it made me wish the murderers death. But it’s against a deep principle of mine. And if you ask me, I think spaths worst punishment is jail as long as it’s isolation… so they are bored out of their mind for the rest of their lives. I even hope it’s a long life of utter boredom.



Thanks for your thoughts. I know my Dad was intentionally was hurting me and my mom. It took me a long time to figure that out. I sat in the movie theater and cowered in terror. Then eventually he put me on his lap and I hid my face in his neck. I could still hear the dialogue and ominous music.

A normal dad would’ve left the theater. A normal dad wouldn’t take an 8 year old to a movie like that.

I did go to one movie with spath. We went to see The Rite with Anthony Hopkins. I sat with my face buried in my coat through most of the movie. He never even flinched. Now imagine this–Anthony Hopkins, the now possessed priest is standing outside fully clothed but for his shoes. He’s not moving, just standing there with his face looking all gray and ashy. I think he was in a park. A little girl (maybe 4 or 5) walks up beside him and examines his shoeless feet. She looks up at him, and he suddenly reaches out, viciously slaps her across the face, and she falls down and cries. I jumped a mile out of my seat. Spath laughed his ass off.

He also ordered Paranormal Activity on his satellite dish one night. He constantly kept pulling the pillow from my face to try to force me to watch. The scary paranormal movies bother me the most.


Darwins’s mom –

I wanted to say that my spath refused to watch horror films. He hated them. He said he had enough darkness in his life.

Ox Drover

This story profoundly effects me….partly I guess because I have such a vivid “picture” in my mind of how my psychopathic son Patrick marched his intended murder victim out along an isolated dirt road, let her walk ahead of him, then called her name, so she would turn around and SEE HIM before he shot her twice in the head. That is the OFFICIAL VERSION….the one printed on the police report, but he told me that the “REAL TRUTH is much worse than the cops even know”–but I don’t know what to believe, because he is such a liar. He would want me to believe it was much worse than it was….and when he told me that, I said to him, “WHAT COULD BE WORSE than shooting a girl in the head, pulling the trigger, murdering her?…did you rape her first? Make her beg for her life? ”

Though my son never met his grandfather, my Psychopathic sperm donor, he had heard stories about how my P sperm donor had murdered those that crossed him, and “looked up” to this man as a role model of “success.”

Unfortunately, Darwinsmom, prison doesn’t seem to be so “boring” to the psychopathic, there are always guards and other inmates to pit wits with and play games with. Prison seems to be a paradise for psychopaths.


Sometimes it is JUST SO HARD to come to this site, especially when you’re feeling bad, and then you see stuff like this. Heartbreaking and mindblowing at once.

I keep getting stuck in fantasy land, thinking, oh, if he just shows up and says he loves me, things will be alright.

But he has not reached out, and I feel so crushed.

My head says – feel HAPPY that I got away.

My heart says – feel sad, because he never loved me, and it’s so damn clear.

Damn it.

What a very very hard day.



Oxy, I know and you are right. Which is why I’d prefer complete isolation for them, with the least contact as possible


Hey Athena,

Keep up the NC! Gratz on the 6 week term. It will get better, and eventually you will be glad he does not contact you.

Ugh about the murder trigger… I wonder, do you want to know the real version? Or do you prefer to never know?

Ox Drover

Dear Athena,

Yes, congratulations on your 6 weeks NC…and yes, it does hurt as we GRIEVE our “loss” even if what we “lost” was a FANTASY….we are crushed when we find out that the fantasy we thought was real was NOT real at all…

Keep on with your therapy and keep your LOGICAL BRAIN IN CONTROL of what you do…don’t let your “emotional brain” over come the good sense you have in the LOGICAL BRAIN! I think of my “emotional brain” as I would a small child that wants to eat all the candy in the store, and my LOGICAL BRAIN is the “parent” that knows that the child can’t be allowed to have what it wants because it isn’t good for the child. I have to take care of that “inner child” and to nurture her, but not allow her to harm herself.


Darwins mom

Thanks. I feel like such a baby coming back here when I struggle to go NC again, and I have these pangs with I understand in my head are not pangs of love, or, maybe they are, but they’re misplaced because he SO F’ed me over.

I feel like a big crybaby.

I’m not like Oxy who had a lifetime of spathy relatives or Sky who had 25 years with her spath and her spath mom.

Trying to breathe, accept it, not cry.

Thank you for the reach out.


Oxy, you so much remind me of my favorite-ist aunt. You’re her age, you sound like her, you’re pragmatic like her.


Ox, I just saw your note about your son. You’re right to wonder if you should even believe his bullshit. I hope you don’t let him tell you. He’ll get off on making it sound worse. I’m sorry for the trigger. It must grip at you.

Ox Drover

Darwin’s mom,

I read that letter that was written by Woody Harrelson’s father who was the STONE-COLD SERIAL KILLER and he was kept in isolation 23/7 and he wrote a letter to a former “friend” who had come to see him in prison…describing his life in his isolation cell with his private shower, radio, writing paper, books, and television….everything to entertain him except companionship. He described what a “great life” it was there….not sure if he was just posturing or if he really felt that way. They will lie when the truth would fit better.

As for the murder trigger…and wondering what the truth is…I’m AM sure I will never know the REAL TRUTH either about my son’s victim, or the many or fewer victims of my P sperm donor.

Not sure why, but for some reason or for no reason, today has been a challenge….not sure if it is the effects of the Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever or what….but have felt weepy, tired, depressed, helpless and hopeless today, without any specific reason for those FEELINGS. Everything, and nothing, triggers me and calls forth a gusher of tears…haven’t felt like this in years!


Hugs. I’m sorry for that.


Dear Oxy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. But yes, that’s the fever! The symptoms you describe – weepy, hopeless, helpless, etc – are just the typical way you feel when the body is out of sorts – or in overdrive from fighting an infection. Fever is especially good at bringing that stuff out.

But you’re the nurse, so I suppose you already know this!

Anyhow, just watch the bad feelings wash over you and don’t own them: they are no more you than a runny nose or a bout of nausea!

Hope you feel better soon.

Ox Drover

Dear Constantine, You are right…and when I read your comment my eyes just started LEAKING! LOL Yea, being sick-y is the pits!

Thank you Althea, I appreciate that….but don’t worry about the crying….DO IT! There is a reason we are given the ability to CRY and it is theraputic…


Not sure if it helps, but I wish you a warm, relaxing, huddled up evening on the couch and a hot cup of chocolate, Oxy

Ox Drover

Thanks, Darwin’s mom, yes it does help….I’m just taking it easy tonight. Leaving the dishes….watching the news, snuggling with the dogs and taking it EASY on myself. Like most medical professionals, I am NOT a “good patient” when I am sick…though I do try to take my medication as ordered, etc. I don’t like to be “down” or “feel bad” LOL I guess I’m just having a “pity party” for myself tonight! Thanks again!


Get well! Snuggling with dogs sounds like a great plan. Hugs. Shalom


Oxy ~ feel better, tomorrow is another day. Think about Hens and his little grandchick.



Hi Oxy,
I hope you feel better soon. Tonight Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin is on. Sure to cheer you up!

Ox Drover

Thanks, guys, I did watch the Great Pumpkin….LOL Yea, I’m “envious” of Hens’ grandchick too!!! LOL His grand-duckies are starting to lay eggies now too! Tomorrow is another day and it will be a better one I am sure!


Take two dogs and call me in the morning! You’re sure to feel better soon.

Athena, I like your new name. It’s appropriate – the warrior goddess – since you are part of the army of anti-spath warriors. You’re gonna kick ass on spaths!

I missed the Great Pumpkin AGAIN!


Sorry I missed your posts today. Wish I lived close by, I’d bring chix soup. I noticed you have been vulnerable lately. I wondered if it was b/c of an anniversary date coming up. Being sick makes vulnerable emotions even more hurtful. I hope you know you don’t always have to be strong for all of us. It’s not a one way thing. We can be there for you too. Winter Spring Summer or Fall. All you have to do is call out.

all my best



I never heard of rocky mountain spotted fever until now. Just looked it up and realized exactly why you’re feeling down. Take it easy and take care of yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

Ox Drover

Katy, Sky, and Pure water,

Thanks for your prescriptions! I AM taking it easy for sure! Had enough food already in fridge I didn’t have to cook, so just kicked back. Son D was gone to a Scout Meeting and I “took two dogs” and cuddled up with a book! Hopefully will feel better tomorrow! Actually it is getting cooler now and may end up being a “three dog night!” (((hugs))))


OxD, omigosh…..I’m SO sorry to hear that you’ve gotten RMSF!!! Rest, rest, and MORE rest…..and, soak in a hot epsom salts bath, if you can.



Thanks for the encouragement – I picked out Athena with a sense of purpose!

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